A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:There’s this girl I work with who I have a crush on (we’re both grad.-student/teachers). I never see her at school, but we talk on Facebook chat frequently--I usually initiate the conversation. At any rate, she seems receptive, and always has a response, and she thinks I’m funny/weird. The problem is that she won’t go on a date with me--I have asked. She won‘t even hang out (as friends). How do I either get her to hang out or seduce her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): I think that you have to face the fact that she is not interested in you romantically. There is no point wasting anymore of your time or energy. You have asked her on a date and she has declined....end of story.
It is a truth that everyone has to face from time to time. Sometimes people do not feel the same way that we feel about them. It happens to everyone. Don't take it personally.
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 As others have suggested, there are a lot of reasons that she may not want to hang out with you. She may not be attracted to, in which case, it's probably best to just move on and find someone else. She may have a boyfriend which also means you should just move on.
The only possibility that comes to mind in which things could work out is if she is attracted to you, but just isn't sure about you. This usually comes down to feel safe with you. If you're unpredictable (which some guys become to be funny), you may be scaring her just enough for her to be concerned about hanging out with you. Try getting to know her and letting her get to know you before you so that you guys can form a bit more trust.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I apologize, I have read a very similar question at least twice in the last week. Perhaps that is how you found DearCupid through Google.
She may indeed have a boyfriend. She may have issues with dating someone in the workplace/at school. She may simply not be attracted to you.
You have to be very careful in how you proceed to learn the answer to these questions. Speaking from personal experience, if you're not interested in a guy, there's not a lot he can do to change that up.
Ways to boost your 'dateability' include getting her friends to think that you are great and 'hot'; the podium effect, where you come across as charismatic and wonderful at work; smelling and looking good at all times; avoiding looking like a goofball--watch the self-deprecating humor.
Post pictures of yourself on Facebook doing athletic things, windblown hair, muscles bulging, running a 5K. Pictures of you surrounded by a group of beautiful girls might help too, but it can't be just one girl, if you see what I mean. Post links to causes you know she supports, find ways to share her interests. If you're on FB with her, you should be able to figure out her favorite things.
You're essentially building a dating resume, where you appear to be a wonderful match for her.
Try to get other girls to post on your page and your posts to make you look as though you have lots of girls chasing you. Ask your female friends to help you out that way.
Those are some of the things off the top of my head; hope they help! And sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought you'd posted before and it was starting to concern me that you suffered from an incurable case of singlemindedness and were a stalker-in-training.
Good luck, let us know how you make out.
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (23 April 2010):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the question(No, I have not asked any questions even remotely similar to this one. And she didn't call me "weird," I did.)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2010):
Garm, you've asked this question before, haven't you?
The short answer to your question "how do I either get her to hang out or seduce her?" is this: you can't.
You're getting to sound really kind of creepy, stalkerish and unappealing.
When a girl uses "weird" to describe a guy, that means the guy is like a freak show, entertaining to watch for a bit, but nothing she wants to spend any time with. If you have that label in her mind, you are undateable. As you keep pressing her, she's going to avoid your company for sure, as you don't seem to be able to take a hint.
She's not interested, and at the rate you are going, she's going to stop thinking you are funny/weird and will wind up thinking you are creepy. You're halfway there already, I think. Weird and creepy are the opposite of desirable and sexy.
Lay off her, and start to work on rehabilitating your image.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 If she does not even want to hang out as friends, she may be very possibly have a boyfriend- have you thought of that ?
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