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How do I get passed this without forgetting him altogether?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 June 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have found myself in an odd situation and I don't know how it happened.

So, to begin, I just graduated high school about 2 weeks ago. At the beginning of my senior year I met a male teacher who was very kind and helpful to me. Now, I know at this point you're thinking, "Great! Another 'I have a crush on my teacher' post!" but not quite. See, I don't have a crush on my teacher but over the year I did become very close to him and now I'm attached.

I just want to make it clear that we are just friends and nothing more. In fact I have never met anyone who is more loving of his wife and child than him. I don't have romantic feelings towards the man although I do feel as though I love him (in the way I would love a brother or a dad).

I don't feel the need to walk through every moment but the point is we became extremely close. He brightened up my days, he made me feel better about myself, and he inspired me to pursue teaching (which is something I have always wanted to do, but he convinced me that I was capable).

I've tried to not be sad about the fact that I won't see him again (at least for a good while) but it's difficult. I miss him a lot. It's like not being able to see a family member. To go from seeing someone everyday to not seeing them at all...it's a big change.

So here is the question: How do I get passed this without forgetting him altogether?

View related questions: crush, my teacher

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A female reader, nicole5178 United States +, writes (20 June 2008):

nicole5178 agony auntI think you should focus on other things until next school year, and then go back to your high school to visit him after or before classes sometime. Maybe then you can tell him about wanting to stay in touch and swap email addresses or something.

You two should definitely keep in touch. It sounds like you had a very healthy friendship, so just perpetuate it. Staying in touch with friends is typical, so he probably wouldn't think it was odd if you phrased it right.

...Hope that helped you. Best wishes.

-Nicole.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou'll be fine enjoy your summer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the answers and the kind words. I suppose once summer is over and college starts that I will feel better about the whole thing. Right now I am focusing on getting a job and working other things out, but when I just sit around with nothing to do I just think "Man I wish I could talk to him about it." Hopefully I can work it out though.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntSo what are your college plans? Once you start college you'll find that you are so busy you won't really have a lot of time to dwell on your past. I have very fond memories of inspirational teachers that I had over the course of my education. You won't ever forget him but you won't miss him either. It's just a right of passage sort of thing. Good luck with your teaching career, it's a very noble profession.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

It's good that you miss him, he sounds like he was a very fine inspirational teacher. But now school is finished he has done his job, and wishes you all the best in your future life. Now it is time for you to enter the adult world, to make new friends, try new experiences and put everything he has taught you into practice. You should have no time to miss him, because you should be using your time to sort out your future life. Do well, get a good job, boyfriend, hobby etc... This will make him proud and happy for you. He can do no more for you, you need to find new people to love and support you. Good luck.

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A female reader, Amy2007x United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2008):

Amy2007x agony auntu left skl a couple of weeks ago didnt you?

if so mail me and we can chat! i also left skl not long ago and ive found it a somewhat struggle tryin to forget my teacher :/ but in the end you cant

xox

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