A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need as much feedback as possible.I've seen on here many times guys posting questions on how to get over their g/f's sexual past. I'm a female and I've been with my daughter's father for 4 yrs.In the beginning of our relationship I told him way too much, which later on it came back to haunt me... and when the fights started I retracted a lot of what I told him because I was tired of him thinking I use to be a whore.One guy in particular my family outted me about and told my b/f that I used to be this guy who used me blah, blah, blah etc. Well when confronted I told him that my family assumed that I was with because he hung out with a friend of mine and he stole something from me but that we never ever had a relationship. Recently my b/f was at a friends house looking at pics and stumbles upon a pic of the guy with an exact same shirt that I own, and now believes that I had him wearing another guys shirt... but I swear it, it wasn't my shirt... we got into a huge fight... and later on we made up.The guy has been in jail for 3yrs and today I saw him he's gotten out! When my b/f sees him all types of hell can break loose and I'm afraid that he's going to ask the guy if we ever had a relationship... I lied we did... I love my b/f... I have never cheated on him... I'm scared to lose him that he will find out the truthMy question is how can I make it so my ex never finds out about this?? How can I show him that I love him and that I'm not a whore?? The only time I think about these people is when he brings them up on a regular basis...he is the love of my life.I made mistakes I just wanted someone to love me...i'm so scared please help! Our fights are taking a toll on my self-esteem and self worth...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): You have a child, you are an adult woman, lying and hiding your past is just not the mature behaviour that I would expect from somebody in your position. I realise your boyfriend has issues in your past, but this is something you need to help him get over. You should refuse to answer any more of his questions and remind him that you love him and nobody else. There is nothing you can do about your past, and lying about it just breeds dishonesty and distrust in your relationship.
Sit him down and have a talk with him about how desperate you feel. Ask him if he will ever forgive you or will you spend the rest of your relationship crying for the mistakes you made when young. This is really bad, and it really needs to stop. Your past is your own, you don't owe him or anybody else any answers. Stop answering his questions, the correct response is "that was my past, and has nothing to do with the woman I am now, please stop harrasing me, your destroying our relationship over things that cannot be changed."
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