A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex dumped me on the 29/12/10 at 10:00pm we was together for 385 days and 1200 seconds. We met over the internet on a chat site, we got to know each other over 7 months then I asked her out. Two months later I gave her a love letter, it was quite childish... Six moths and 3 days later we meet for the first time, she came with our boy-friend, I gave her a necklace and we had our first kiss. A month and 8 days later we met again, it was only for three hours though but I cherished those three hours, I gave her a poem whicfh she read on her birthday. On the 11th of December we met again, three days after we had been dating for a year, I gave her a rose, during that time we had forty one kisses. On the 24th I gave her a three page love letter that was more mature then the one I had given her over ten months ago, she told me she cried due to it, five days leter she sent me a text telling me that she was breaking up with me due to the fact that she "feels like the relationship isn't the same anymore" I was heartbroken and confused as everything was vfine a few days ago, I cried the day after, on the 30th I found out that she had a new boyfriend, I was even more hurt with the idea that she cheated on me, she didn't say goodbye or anything... I sent her a message on facebook to tell her my pain, whiuch she siad thatb she did love me and she just though she needed to "move on", if she had really loved me she would of not broke up with me and have a new boyfriend, I had a crush on someone and I only wanted her so I killed of my crush on the other female, she didn't do the same, she just chose the other male over the male she was in love with... I can'rt stop thinking about her and I keep repeating her name... How do I get over the fact that the first woman I loved isn't mine anymore... I thought she was my way out of a life alone... =(
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broke up, cheated on me, crush, facebook, heartbroken, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Here's my suggestion. Focus on girls you can be with in real life not just limited engagements every couple of months. LDR's are rarely successful.
I agree with the others that the counting thing is a little creepy. Each one can still be important without keeping score in your head.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Move on and less of the record keeping next time bit creepy.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 January 2011):
 :) thats a lovely thing to say! look, you will get over her honest, it just takes time and one day hopefully you will meet someone who will love to be with someone very sensitive and kind, as you are. your ex just mustn't have had the taste for someone like that. maybe wanted someone a bit tougher or something?
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Yes the counting was important to me as every kiss was special to me not just the 1st...
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 January 2011):
hi first of all, are you serious about all that counting? 41 kisses etc? i am sorry to hear that you have had your heart broken but in time - you DEFINITELY will get over it, trust me. and it'll make you stronger. getting over a heartbreak is an achievement so make it your goal. see friends, do stuff, plan stuff, eat well, exercise, get outdoors, don't contact her and little by little and day by day (i don't know how many days!) you will notice it hurting less. you'll slowly get back to your old self and you won't be thinking about her and what went wrong, it won't matter any more, but do always remember it and use it to teach you how to do things differently...quote by einstein "insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results"take care n keep busyxx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Wow.
You sound OCD. In fact, have you been to a doctor about this obsession with counting? If not, I suggest you make an appointment with a specialist immediately.
Yes, the answer is you drove her away by suffocating her. It seemed like it was too much to handle after awhile. She left you for a guy who isn't so..detailed.
I suggest you seek help for your OCD, that help alone will help you relax more in any future relationships.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I only done that due to the fact tha this was my first relationship and every momen was special to me...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): You sound very possessive and to be honest with you, all those mental notes about times and dates is bordering on "creepy".
I don't know if you have a really good memory or have been writing down all the dates, times etc... but it's not something a normal, healthy person does. Instead of enjoying your time with her you used it more like a school project or something.
If you want a successful relationship in the future then i suggest you stop recording every detail and making time for the person you're dating.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I suffocated her by beng too romantic?
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (7 January 2011):
jeez , you suffocated the poor girl . you were too all over her girls love when a guy shows their affection but feintely not to this degree. i agree with bim bim you never once mention what the girl is like are you sure you love her? or just love having a girlfriend. if you want to keep a girl you need to back off a bit and let her do her own thing . of course maybe what she said is true , i think you need to let her get on with her life as the saying goes " if you love something set it free if its meant to be it'll come back" stop all contact with her even though its hard you need to to heal. tone down the romantic in you eventually you'll get over her
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I'm sorry but this made me laugh talk about possessiveness.
Read what you wrote - you gave this girl no space - she felt suffocated.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): She did send me a text telling me that she did love me and that I was the best thing that happened to her and that I won't be alone. The only thinbg she game me was a birthday card and a poem, I didn't ask for anything else as all I wanted was her love.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Oh lordy, all that counting, by your keeping of such meticulous records she may have felt as if she was slowly being caged in, (I know I wouldnt like it), and fled.
I think you may be more in love with the idea of being in love than with the girl herself. You dont mention anything about her, only what you did when and what you did half an hour later.
1200 seconds huh, to the dot? Your getting together was so momentous that you took time out to note the EXACT time?
Next time concentrate more on the girl and less on the recording, put this one down to experience and do what she is doing, move on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): All these painful experiences make us stronger in the end, it's like a rite of passage, something we all have to go through.
With your particular relationship, I don't think you actually spent much time in the girl's company, it was an internet thing, where you lived mostly in your imagination.
You sound like the sensitive type, romantic too, and I know most women love that in a man, so the future looks very rosy for you indeed.
If you meet someone else, make sure it is local and in the real world, or if it is on the internet, meet quite soon and see how things really are.
Time heals and life goes on, you'll see!
xx
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