A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know how to get over my anger at the girl that slept with my boyfiend. I think because she didn't have to deal with anything and I have lived with the aftermath for so long, my boyfriend has gotten it from me continuosly and suffered himself and has shown so much remorse. She continues with her life with nothing, none of the pain, hurt or anger. Not defending my boyfriend but it annoys me more because he had gone to bed and she jumped into his in a spare room, he was drunk, she wasn't and then she tried to put blame on him. He was wrong as well, I know that. It's pronounced N O. She knew he was in a happy relationship and I think she was being very jelous and spiteful. Even saying to me she knows how much he is in love with me by the way he speaks of me and then she did that. It is now me that is ruining my relationship through an anger that has consumed me. How do I help myself?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): She didnt cheat on you, your bf did. Shes just a happy slapper and there are plenty of those around! Its your bf`s behaviour when he was offered drunken sex that has damaged your relationship. Hes shown he cant be trusted when hes been drinking. You are angry that he could risk everything with you just for boozy sex with a slapper. If hes really sorry and it was a one off, make sure he doesnt get that drunk again and if you want to save your relationship go to counselling. Both of you x
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (9 December 2009):
You have to ask yourself why she did this. She did this because she wanted him for herself. But what happened? Your boyfriend chose you still. So everytime you get angry or get low self-esteem about this, just remember how much worse she feels about giving it up for nothing! She is still not good enough for him to leave you for her!!! Afterall, she could only get him to sleep with her when he was semi-conscious!!!! How much of a loser is she?! Forget about her.
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A
female
reader, Katiekins86  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 I know exactly what you mean, I've just broken up with my fiance as he cheated on me and is now with her, even though this girl knew full well he was with me. It is very hard to understand how vindictive these people can be, but I doubt she's genuinely happy. I have a friend who aged 19-20 slept with a few married men in their 30s. When I asked why, she replied 'because I can, I'm not doing anything wrong'. I looked behind her facade though and its obvious its normally low self esteem and unhappiness fuelling this kind of behaviour. This girl probably can't get her own happy relationship through her own attributes so sabotage is the only way she can feel good about herself.
Maybe try turning your anger into pity for her? You do have to remember though unfortunately (and I find this bit hard myself) it is your partner who is in the wrong. Don't let her worm her way into your relationship, that's exactly what she wants. Rise above it - who's got his love at the end of the day? who has to resort to him being drunk and pouncing just for meaningless sex with the man they love? her. Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 December 2009):
By realizing that it wasn't her fault. no matter how much you hate her, she didn't cheat. Your boyfriend did. That's why she can get on with life without the pain. Because she didn't do anything other than sleep with someone. You have to stop the anger with her, because it won't make one bit of difference. If it's that bad, see a counsellor. Because it will all go wrong in the end if you don't. But your anger is directed at the wrong person. He said yes, he cheated. not her.
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