A
female
age
30-35,
*oGreen126
writes:Hello, aunties!I've had feelings for a guy for what's now approaching 3 years. 34 months. We dated for nearly 5 months. I genuinely believe I've loved him for 9 months. (Though I do understand that my perspective is very limited, as I am only in high school. I recognise that.) He's my best friend.At this point, having broken up 4 months ago, I just want to get over him. (I've dated 2 other guys since we broke up, and I had significant feelings for one of them, but nothing compared to the depth of those I have for my best friend.) How do I get over him, while keeping him as my best friend? That he remains my best friend is nearly non-negotiable for me. Thanks you so much for any input,-GG
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female
reader, GoGreen126 +, writes (14 September 2009):
GoGreen126 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much,78ta09, you said that I should tell him how I feel. I've done this before. He claims not to like relationships, and I believe he genuinely means it. He doesn't have time for a girlfriend, and he never has. He's told me before about other girls he's liked, but he has only eVer asked 3 girls out in his 15 years.I'm pretty much positive he doesn't feel that way for me. I know that this sounds melodramatic, but I would rather be at his side through gf after gf and be hurt regularly than to not be his friend because even if I'm not meant to be with him, we have somethig very special that I'll never willingly give up. In one word, he knows EXACTLY how I'm feeling. So basicly, what I'm saying is that I can't lose him. Must I tell him again how I feel? It's only ever gone badly since we dated. -GG
A
female
reader, 78ta09 +, writes (14 September 2009):
 honestly sweetie.. my ex of two years, i've been best friends with him since i was 13 years old, after we dated on and off through high school things between us were never the same.. then after we both graduated both were hurt and heartbroken a few times, we ended up together. and things were awesome between us too for about a year and a half.. then the 'best friends' feelings started coming back, sex was awkward, we'd rather just sit and watch movies than make out like before, our relationship was great. but as most normal human beings know, sex in a serious relationship (when you are ready mind you) is critically important. many guys feel that you don't find them attractive or they will feel insecure if you start drifting away sexually and if you can't bring them up - make them feel like a man - i promise someone else will. and another thing too.. girls often feel insecure or unattractive if their men dont want to have sex with them too. only we tend to jump to the conclusion that they are sleeping with someone else. we also tend to feel like sex is essential in our relationships as well by means of, if we don't do this what makes us different than any other girl he knows? im not sure how to word that properly but im sure you understand.. if you dont feel free to ask me what the heck im talking about lol this is all i have for you sweetie.. just keep your head high. let him know how you feel down to a tee.. even if it feels like youre walking on pins and needles (trust me i know that feeling too lol) just blurt it out.. youll never know how he feels until you tell him and then you ask him.. he may feel the same.. then you can put your differences aside and go your different ways.. things between you arent going to be the same.. with the feelings you still have for him even if you try and be his best friend your going to be jealous of his other girlfriends and he will have a couple that dont want him talking to ex's.. so chances are.. this is one of those.. ill see you later in life.. situations.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): As hard as it might be, you two should probably spend some time apart. Occasionally call or e-mail each other, but try to just spend less time with him for now until you really do get over him. Just talk about school and anything that doesn't involve your past or when the two of you were together. Try to just see him as a friend and only a friend. Remember the great times you had together, but try to acknowledge that they are over and you two need to move on.
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