What to do when you have given it your all

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am a 35yr old women who has always wanted nothing but happiness and I am a true beliver of that god answer all questions but you first have to give him your all. I have prayed for a good man and the whole nine yards so I thought the only way to true happiness is to give yourself to the lord. so i did just that stop partying drinking and start going to church on sunday and i stop having sex i did all this for about two years. then i started a new job and met this guy seems nice to me. he was everything that i wanted i a man except at that time a never dated men with kids. but i thought that i will change my old habit. the relationship was doing quite well at first. we even started going to church together and getting his kids. then he started hanging out with his family on the other side of town. he stop coming home saying that he was making moves and making money but the thing about it was the he never came home with the money now mind u in the past i dated drug dealer and they had the cash but he did not. come to find out he was a crack head but you would have never guess it by the way that he look. women at work wanted him so bad but never knew his secret. we stayed together after he got help but he had been getting high for so long that he just could not stop or should i say just did not want to. after months of trying to save his life and having problems with the women at work i felt that enough was enough. so i packed up his things and told those women that whoever wanted him could have him and that what looks good is not always good yeah he is fine but if u want him take him he is yours and trust you will give him back. but of couse none if the said nothing i guess that they were shocked. so he got the help once again and promise that he would do right by me so i told him that this would be it. he did his three months and came home still had his job. he started saving money and everything thing. so it got to the point that i let him drive the car again without me, why did i do that he did not come home for the whole weekend and it was the 4th of july i could not even go to work then he called saying that he was in a high speed chase with the police which i figure that he was lying he came on and thought that he would stay home from work but nope i made him go. now we are at work and the police show up that ask me questions and started with do not lie because we have already asked were you here at work they said if i did not let them search my car that they would tow my car and i might not get it back so i did plus i told them whatever he did or stole he sold it he would not keep it.they asked why do you that this from he he is a loser but i explained everyone needs a little help now and then someone who can have their back but i told them also that even thought he gets high he pays the bills and he pays every thing before he gets high because i told him if you did it do it but pay these bills and what you have let do your things but u will not be in the house and i would lock him out the rain sleet or snow i did not care if he did it he would not get back in my house until the next day and if he was still high he would not get in but i got tried i needed a real man and he was not it. was i crazy for trying to help him or did i do the right thing and will i find happyiness or be alone for the rest of my life help me please

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