A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 years old marrried with 2 children. I am in a stressful job and living with my family and mother. My husband never proposed to me and we were basically led into marriage. Lately, I have been regretting my current life and wishing for something more. I went online and met a 22 year old man and fell in love after 3 months of online communication. The problem is, he thinks I am his age and single. I have sent him several pictures of another person, saying they are pictures of me, and now he wants to meet me. This is impossible, considering I am not who I have said I am, and he is in the UK. The lies have got deeper and deeper, but along the way, he has fallen in love with me. We speak to each other on the phone daily and go online daily. At the moment, I am feeling incredibly guilty for doing this to my online lover. He is young and trusting and I have woven a web of deception. There is no way I could tell him or my husband the truth, but I need some help getting out of this situation. I would appreciate any advice, as I am getting myself into a state of depression over this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): I have done the same thing have sent him pictures of someone else. He has fallen in love with me and now I feel so guilty. Have tried many times to stop this relationship but he won't let me go he won't give up. I hate that I have lied to him I don't know what to do...I know I need to tell him the truth but I just can't. I am married but can never tell my husband the truth as it would kill him. My husband is in a wheelchair and totally dependent on me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): I think you should just break contact with the Uk man in the kindest way you can, say you have met someone and that you don't think the transatlantic thing will work. Don't tell him you've been lying to him for months. He might not be who he says he is anyway.
You need a quick exit from this and to start to tackle your midlife crisis.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 You really don't have a relationship with the online guy. and he doesn't have feels for or want to see you... he want to see the person you pretended to be. just stop talking to him all together.
And the other post is right. talk to your husband and you mind find that he's not happy either. so then you guys can eith er fix the problems or just get divorced and move on. no need in lying to everybody.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Oh dear what a mess you are in. You need to stop things now and the best thing you can do is to come clean and tell your online man the truth...he deserves to know the absolute truth and nothing less.
I can understand the fantasy part and enjoying the thought of having a young guys attention. The fact that you are in different countries almost gives you free will to let the situation run away on it's self because there is never a danger you would have to meet him in the flesh.
I genuinely feel sorry for the bloke, men of that age are so sensitive and insecure and I feel like this is going to be like a bomb going off for him. You need to take the blame, because it is your doing and lies that have lead to this place. You need to tell him that your sorry and that he has been decieved by a sad and unfulfilled woman who had no intention of ever letting it get this far.
The sooner you tell him, the sooner it can be resolved and you can begin to work on your real life, which is sorting out an unhappy or stale marriage.
Do it today, do it now. Let the guy go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): I understand you condition, sometimes we need to talk to someone else during our free time or in the stress. But unfortunately, you got into this.
So, it is always to be sincere. Telling the truth might stop this, perhaps it might hurt the other side, but what if it continues? The hurt will be deeper on him.
Not telling the truth will sure lead to further problems in the future. I know it is very hard to the him about the truth especially you've gone this far. But if you would just stop talking to him or contact him, this might solve the problem, but of course not in the best way. You can tell him the truth, but of course I would like to say it would make a huge impact on the both of you.
So what's your choice? Do you want to tell him the truth yourself? Or do you think you will just stop contact him?
Do you have other choices?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): First and foremost you need to stop all contact with your online guy. You have no relationship with him. All you've done is waste his time. What if you found out that he was really 65 and had 6 ex wives. Would you still want him? I think not! You need to have a long talk with your husband. If you don't love him you need to tell him and go from there. You just might find out that your husband isn't all that happy with you either. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to get online and find himself a hot young 21 year old woman instead of coming home to you every day. Hmmmm..... Hurts when the shoe is on the other foot doesn't it?
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