A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hihow can i convince this boy i really like and get along with to quit smoking , i tell him its disgusting but he just looks at me and laughts but he should'nt be smoking how can i convince him to stop help please.x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): ~It's ultimately his choice~Be direct with him regarding the reasons why you do not accept his vice, as I too agree that smoking is amongst one of the most intolerable and unjustified vices.The Irony~I am an Ex-Smoker: I smoked years ago and quit...Then I recently relapsed for a few months due to a temporary dance with dysfunctional...and each time I placed a cigarette to my mouth I always met with the fact that what I was doing was nothing short of slow suicide and a inhumane poisoning of another person's life.Smoking is without benefit. It kills. It stinks. It is indifferent to one's life.Your life is valuable and so too is your boyfriend's. Do what is best for you when it comes to loving you so that you can sustain your predestined life to share love with others.I quit cold turkey.God Bless.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): You can ask, coax, suggest, say how awful it is, and he will still smoke and smell like an ashtray!
You cannot change him or his attitude (which is why he laughs when you try to) he has to WANT to give up himself.
If he has come from a family of smokers, the bad news is, he's not going to quit in a hurry, if at all. And yes, passive smoking is bad for you.
Personally the best way to avoid the disgusting habit, is to avoid dating smokers..only DATE a NON-smoker, and as you get older you will probably remember this, as most NON-Smokers ONLY date non-smokers..like attracts like, mostly!
My guess is, you come from a different family background to him, could be wrong, but that's what I suspect, and if so, it won't only be the smoking that you have differences on ultimately.
Good luck!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 Tell him it tastes bad and stop kissing him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): I am sorry to say that smokers smoke and they do not quit until they feel it is their time.
Usually, they come to a point when it is their time.
Your gentle urging can contribute a Bit, but mainly it is the circumstances in their life, their growing up, their wising up, learning up, moral- ling up... that will change them. There will come a time when that smoke begins to feel unnatural in their throats and those cigarettes stale on their lips... overlarge and awkward in their grasp... and no longer in keeping with their social persona.
But for now, they've known from the start it's bad... but it's a habit now.
Until it's their time...
-Tante Vic
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 November 2010):
Hi there. Perhaps you could ask him "why" he does smoke.
Do his parents smoke (sometimes this is the case), and that might be how he started - curiosity.
- Ask him what he enjoys about it.
- Does he do it just to feel like he's a man?
- Does he smoke to feel good about himself?
You could then pick up some literature about the health risks of smoking, and show them to him.
By asking him to just stop, will probably have little effect as it seems to now.
If you are talking to him and he lights up, just walk away from him while he is smoking, then walk back when he stubs it out at the end of it.
Smoking these days is becoming very much an anti-social habit - not tolerated by many people.
Perhaps if he realizes - by you and others walking away from him whenever he lights a cigarette - he might have a bit of a rethink about why he does it at all.
It could also be a phase he is going through, and like other phases, it might also come to pass.
Just give it some time.
As you say he is a boy you like, (as apposed to already being your boyfriend), if over the next few weeks or months, he still smokes and shows no signs of stopping, well then it's probably a case of you deciding you don't want to put yourself through having to put up with the smell of cigarettes and stale tobacco always being on him. It's not a pleasant smell, that's for sure.
To hang about with him when he is a smoker, you are also putting yourself at risk from passive smoking. Breathing in the cigarette smoke, is a serious health risk for everyone. This is also the reason why I said to walk away whenever he lights up - not just the anti-social side of it.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 well your right, its disgusting and selfish bad habit. ditch the dude now and find a guy with some brains.
good luck.
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