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How do I get him to come back without coming right out and just asking him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *ortified writes:

I have been seperated from my husband for 19 months now. he lives with his parents and i live with our 3 children. i really really want him back and i dont know what to do. i dont want to come right out and ask him. how can i let him know i want him back or how can i make him want me. please help

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (23 June 2010):

mystiquek agony auntCaring guy gave such a perfect answer. Sweetie, if you want him back, you'd be best to just come right out and say so. Men (no offense guys!) can be sooo obtuse! They really don't get hints. Don't assume he'll get the hidden meaning..he won't. Just say what you want to say..put it in black and white and don't try to make it into a puzzle. Guys really do better when things are spelled out for them. I've heard this time and time again...they hear what we say, NOT what we imply. I wish you all the best!

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A male reader, UncleHarris United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2010):

UncleHarris agony auntI'm afraid that the harsh truth of it is petal, no matter how much you don't want to hear it, you can not make anybody anybody want you. You cannot tailor somebodies feelings.

True, you can act in a way that you may perceive as being attractive to the said person... but isn't that compromising who you are?

I think that your best way around this situation is to maybe go back to the root of what caused the separation in the first place, you will have a big heads up for if any spark does reignite between you and he.

And as for asking him outright... why don't you first try to build a friendship with him again, and hopefully things will naturally progress in your favour.

As I have only read your dilemma in just 66 words, I may be missing key points here, but please let us all know how you're getting on sugar.

Much Love.

Uncle

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2010):

A million women have all asked how they can get a man interested without asking. You know how may have done it? None. You know why? Men don't do hints. They do blunt words. If you're serious about wanting him back, don't waste time trying to send him hidden messages, don't waste time giving him every sign under then sun because he won't know what you're talking about at all and will just end up confused. Take a deep breath, tell him you want to talk to him and be honest with him. Tell him you want him back and want to work on your marriage. Anything other than telling him and he'll never see it. This requires action, not just a few subtle hints. Talk to him.

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