A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I need advise!! My fiance's brother added my b/f's horrible ex-girlfriend to his facebook page and I am absolutely beside myself! When they were together, she used the whole family for her own gain. She stole money from my b/f, hocked the very expensive engagement ring he gave her, she cleaned out his entire house, furniture, applicances while he was in jail on false charges she brought against him just to get him out of the house so she could take everything. His family knows the hell he went through with this woman, and everyone tells me they didn't like her in the first place. She's been out of his life for nearly 8 years and I have lived in absolute fear that she'd come snaking back into the picture. Every so often, I check out her facebook page by using a friend's log in (with her permission) because neither me or my b/f actually have our own facebook account, nor do we care to. I feel so betrayed by his brother, whom I've always had a pretty good relationship with so I don't know if I should bring it up, or just drop it. I want to tell my b/f how upset and betrayed I am, but I don't want to get him curious and snooping around to find out what's she's doing these days, and I know deep down inside he still loves her. God only knows why! Should I say anything, or just suffer in silence. I am just so upset that she now has access to alot of the family's personal info and too close access to the world my b/f and I have built together!!! What should I do?????
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (23 June 2010):
Just because they are friends on facebook doesn't mean they are BFF.
Breathe.
People add people on facebook all the time. They get a request and go "screw it, i'll add 'em, whatever."
She can't see everyone's personal info, just his brothers. And even if she can, why does it matter? What does her seeing some information and a couple status updates really do to your relationship with him. Yourboyfriend doesn't even have a facebook so she can't "befriend" him.
I think you're obsessing a little too much over her. It's been eight YEARS and you're still going on and checking HER facebook account every now and then... That's not healthy. Just let it go. She has nothing to do with you and if she does somehow get involved in your relationship, handle it like the bigger woman. Be respectful, dignified, and hold your head up high. I'd say you're very insecure in your relationship if you think anything will change because she befriended someone on facebook.
You don't own your bf's brother. He didn't betray you by adding her. He has his own life and is in control of his own decisions. Maybe he's just curious about what she's up to, it's not a big deal.
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