A
male
age
36-40,
*otton223
writes:i need some help on how to deal with a very annoying problem. i work at a restaurant and there's a girl who comes in very often and hits on me like there's no tomorrow. the problem is she is only 16 turning 17 (she is extremely attractive for her age)and i work with her older sister. i told her i can't touch her till she turns 18 but she wont STOP. she says things like "so (my name)we're gonna hookup when i turn 17 right?". its driving me nuts its such a HUGE turn-on having this girl just throw herself at me but its just a big tease to me. b/c i know deep down i can't touch her till she turns 18, its just one of my standards. Please i really need some help on how to make this girl back-off. It's starting to get really hard to keep resisting. its very emasculating to keep turning down no strings sex, not to mention the awkwardness because her older sister is always working with me when she comes in. i feel there's something wrong with me all my friends are telling me to go for it Please help any advice would be greatly appreciated i really don't want to make any bad decisions that i will regret later.
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male
reader, Cotton223 +, writes (7 May 2010):
Cotton223 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all for the advice and comments im going to have to use a little bit of everyone's suggestions to properly handle this situation.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 May 2010):
 "You know something, Sara? You're a good looking girl and I am flattered by your attention. But this teasing is getting really old and tired and it frankly makes me think that you are VERY immature.
"I work with your sister; I respect her and don't need to have you in my face.
"So I'm asking you very nicely to BACK OFF. It's really bugging me. I'm trying to be nice but I am losing my patience with you.
"Please stop making those comments, okay? Thanks."
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Then tell her sister, your co-worker, that you think of her 16 year old sister as really immature, maybe pretty, but really really young and that she has been acting really inappropriately. Tell your co-worker that you've asked her to stop.
As for your friends, well, just smile widely and laugh but don't comment on anything. They don't need to know anyway.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 May 2010):
 Cotton I know it's hard to believe But I was in your position once. Not a younger girl but still an inappropriate affection for the position we were in. I'll tell you what I did because it was so effective. I mean it stopped her cold. It was almost cruel. You may not be able to use it as you are working with here sister and her sister probably knows you too well.
Anyway this is what I did. I was always friendly with D. even though I had no intention of going further. Eventually it became apparent she was pressing the issue. So one day at a group activity, she came over to chat with me. Right in the view of several of our colleges. So I said to her, Have I ever shown you a picture of my Girlfriend? Then I whipped out my wallet and showed it to her. The temperature dropped 20 degrees on the spot. I never had to bring up the problem again.
What I did was send this message. "I like you and trust you, but I don't like you in that way." It may have been cruel but she did get the message.
Now if her sister knows for a fact that you are available and on the market, so to speak this could backfire. In fact she may try to win you away. So if that is the case you have to do what I did to a younger girl. You have to put across the message that you think she is in Junior high. I did it by asking the girl in question when she was going to learn to walk in those high heels. Very cruel, but I really did not like this girl at all. That one cost me a bit because she was capable of hating long term. And she still lives in the same county I live in. Fortunately we don't cross paths often.
Any how , I hope you can benefit from my experience.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): First great question! Nice to see a guy actually thinking about this instead of "just going for it". Second there is always strings especially with a girl that age. Trust me I used to be like that. It sounds as if she is attractive and she knows it, she is trying to use that to get what she wants. You are right to tell her no and to back off. I would try explaining to her that you have morals and will not do anything sexual until she is 18. Unfortunately this may attract her to you even more... If so, this may be hard to do but you can tell her that her persistance to try and get you to go against your own morals is simply unattractive. Put the ball in her court. If she thinks you think her behavior is unattractive or unappealing she may try to change that behavior. If she thinks her charm and looks will get you to give in she will keep trying.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 May 2010):
 Your standards are commendable. Not many men would have held out this long. There are a few things you could do that I can see.-Talk to her sister. Use their family connection to get the message across that this has to stop.-Talk to your boss. Let them know that this customer is harassing you and you'd appreciate it if you could work in the back while she's around.-Talk to her directly. Sit her down and tell her that you appreciate her interest, but no means no. Feel free to tell her that if you're single when she turns 18 and she's still interested, maybe something could happen then, but definitely not before.-Take her up on the offer. Run the risk of getting charged with statutory rape and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life.Honestly, your denials of her advances are probably fueling her future ones. If you call her bluff it may get her to chicken out and stop, then again it may not be a bluff...
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