A
female
age
,
*urtingstill
writes:I have been married to the same man for 25 years and a year ago after many months of suspecting, I walked into his girlfriend's home and found him in bed with her. I can't seem to forget or forgive. I feel like I'll never be as attractive as she was to him. He won't talk to me about it, I've tried to tell him that I need to know what happened but he would rather forget it.. How do I get beyond this and feel attractive to him again? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 It's not about beauty...after all, the most beautiful women in the world have been cheated on...Halle Berry for one...
It's about a man wanting something different from what he had for 25 years.
...and about another woman wishing she had what you have, that is, if he told her about you.
You need to get your mojo back. You know how, you did it before...
A
female
reader, hurtingstill +, writes (11 January 2009):
hurtingstill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank god you were all there. Just writing and hearing answers to the many questions I've found myself faced with helps. I am trying to get beyond this. The most important thing in my life at this point is to make my marrage work without compromising me. You will never know how much all of your input has helped.
...............................
A
female
reader, Libra1963 +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Are you certain that he really wants to save the marriage? Can you confirm that he is no longer seeing the other woman?
On a positive note, you have had a long healthy marriage. If there was not something there, he would have left you long ago. He clearly still cares about you.
When men wander, it is probably due to boredom. Dont feel its your fault. It takes two to tango. Why dont you plan a special trip away. Valentine's Day is coming up - surprise him. Buy some new clothes, get your hair done, sexy undies. Be like a new woman. Make he fall in love with you again like he did the first time. You have something special - 20 odd years of marriage. Unfortunately there are women out there who will try to destroy marriages, it looks like yours is too strong to break.
...............................
A
female
reader, hurtingstill +, writes (10 January 2009):
hurtingstill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all, i wish i could explain this situation so all could understand. i will try, he is 5yrs younger than i am we were happily married for 23 of our 25 yrs. no children we lost twins early in our marrage and because of that he became all that i am. now i know what you're going to say how could you ever do that. no excuses it happened i thought i was all he was to. i believe the affair started when this women came to our local tavern. my husband and a few of his married buddies befriended her. then the late nights, the cell phone calls he couldn't explain, then the gone all night. i became a detective, i looked up the cell phone numbers found her address and confronted him. he denided all... and life went on. on december 16 2007 he didn't come home. i called his cell phone which he had turned off, so i went looking. i think in my mind i wanted to believe there was a logical explaination. but my fears were founded when i found his truck at her house. i lost it walked in and found them in bed. i hit her, i hit him then i put a jack through his truck windshield.. the police were called and i was charged with harrasment. we decided to try to make it. ikept track of the cell phone calls and they continued until feb.. she continued to go to all the places we went and made herself a pest. now when i no longer see her and he no longer gets phone calls i've found myself feeling as i do, unattractive and wondering what she gave hhim that i couldn't.. oh! by the way i ask her why if she knew he was married would she have done this? she said becauce i could... she also told me she will always have part of him that i will never have. i really want this to work.. but how.
...............................
A
female
reader, nickie123 +, writes (10 January 2009):
 and your still with him???That's a shame I am not being mean though but divorce him, break up with him, guys once they cheat they will never be how you thought that he was so I am sorry but if you believe that you're attractive than your fine, he's not worth it
...............................
|
