A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, and thanks in advance for any help.I recently have been discussing marriage with my girlfriend of a year. After talking about it with her and finding out that she has been thinking about it also and has the same feelings about it that I have, I spontaneously proposed to her and was lucky enough to have her say yes. So now we're engaged and have been discussing how we want to do wedding stuff and how we want to tell everyone. We are most likely waiting a couple months before we tell anyone just so we have time to get used to it and are secure in it before being bombarded with other peoples opinions. What I'm asking for help with though is ideas for a ring. I proposed without a ring mainly because we both have very non traditional ideas and things like a diamond ring kind of stuff just aren't that important when viewed beside the fact that we love each other and want to be together, but I want to get her one and she enjoys the idea of me giving her one. What I'm having trouble with is finding something unique and uncommon to give her. She doesn't usually wear any jewelry so i don't have a lot of things to compare it to to get her style. I know she doesn't really want a diamond since she isn't that into them and doesn't want a traditional style ring. I've been considering doing a claddagh ring or a variation of it because they seem to be very uncommon in the US and she likes the symbolism and design of them but I'm still trying to find something i guess a little abnormal that will be quirky but beautiful like she is. Does anyone have any ideas or know of any other styles of ring that i could look at to get more ideas? I think that in general I'm trying to avoid rings with gems although I'm not completely ruling them out, she just tends to prefer more simple, clean jewelry that's beautiful because of the design and the work in it not because someone slapped something shiny on the top of it. She also has smallish hands so anything to thick or bulky would look funny on her hands. I think the best option I found so far is a type of claddagh like puzzle ring that is designed as an engagement ring but I'm not really sure about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioneh, those designs aren't really hers or my own taste. there to busy with all the scroll work and stuff on the sides. Although i think we've now arrived at the conclusion that we're doing a white gold black pearl ring. she read somewhere while we were looking at ring stuff that black pearls symbolize love and she likes pearls more than gems to begin with. Now i've got to either find a symbol but uniquely designed band with a black pearl set in the middle or buy a loose pearl and have a custom band cast and set with the stone. Anyone know which one is probably cheaper and have any suggestions as far as buying pearl jewelry.
and for an example here's a couple rings that she's already said she likes:
http://www.jewelbasket.com/jbdlrckw169989b.html
http://www.amazon.com/White-Gold-Black-Cultured-Pearl/dp/B0000THCZ2
something simple but with a little design to it enough to be pretty without being ornate or gaudy. I may end up designing the band design myself if it's easy enough to do since i happen to be somewhat of an artist at times when i'm in the mood for it. I just don't normally do art in the form of jewelry and more of like drawing painting and sculpture stuff. although i guess the band design fall into sculpture design on a small scale.
A
female
reader, ImperfectlyPerfect  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Hey.Oh this is annoying I have a picture in my head of a beautiful (well at least to me) ring but I'm not sure how to explain!! Well, here are a few links to pictures of engagement rings:http://www.moissaniteco.com/bmz_cache/3/3e054301ba4f5cb0c27c8de809124d7d.image.300x300.jpghttp://ringoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/vintage-european-ring-2.jpghttps://www.artdecodiamonds.com/images/products/2137_01.jpghttp://ringoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/antique-engagement-ring.jpghttp://www.topazery.com/graphics/collagePearlEngagement.jpghttp://www.aboutengagementrings.net/uploaded_images/31HAW776P8L._AA280_-771626.jpghttp://www.diamondsnews.com/images/diamond%20cut%20engagement%20rings.jpgI like all of these rings and I think that a vintage sort of style ring is perfect, although some are big. My favourite is the first one but it's about what your girlfriend prefers.And also I think it's great that you're going for the sentimental value and all of those things rather than 'Wow that rock is HUGE!'Good luck for now and ever :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI already have been getting her input and showing her things but searching for stuff usually just brings up diamond rings or other things like that. Right now I'm doing some searching both on my own and with her to find things she likes and things that are unique so that i can go out and find something and then give it to her when she's not expecting it.
I thought about trying to design one but I don't really know much about buying jewelry and wouldn't know where to start as far as having one cast or anything like that. I'd like the ring to be designed as an engagement ring though and not just be a normal piece of jewelry passed off as one, although if i find something that works that won't stop me from getting it.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (10 January 2009):
Well since you have already proposed it's not exactly going to be a huge suprise so why not get her help on finding it.
When I suspected my husband was going to propose I would stop infront of jewellers and say "that's nice, so is that, that is HORRIBLE!" so he got an idea of my style.
You could just happen to have open a ring website and ask her opinion on which she likes and she doesn't.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Congrats, and I think it's really cool that you're marrying someone who isn't caught up in the "where's my rock?' sort of thing. You could do a few things. You could (and I don't know where you live but there's a lot of places where you can do this) design your own for her (or have her design her own) and have it cast which is a pretty inexpensive an quick process. You could check internet sites (I used to know a bunch of sites that sold one-of -a-kind jewelry but I cant think of any off the top of my head. If I remember any of the good ones, I'll post again.) Or, you could just go out and find something that you think suits her seeing as how you're obviously in tune with her sense of style. Personally, I'd try and seek out something you could work with a jewelry designer on, where they would make it themselves and you could tell them what to do. I used to design and cast my own rings and stuff and there's nothing a person can appreciate more than the gift of something no one else has.
-Jmo
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