A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok without going into the reasons why I want one and the up- and down- sides of it: I want a sex buddy. So how do I get one? I can't (and don't want to) ask exes or female friends. How do I even let a women know that's what I want, without coming across as sleaze-ball? I just want to find a way to satisfy myself the right person comes (no pun intended)! I suppose my question is two fold:1. Where do I meet women other than regular bars and clubs?2. Once you have met them, how to let them know my intentions in a direct and non-offensive way?(Oh and if you are going to say "the internet" please be more specific. I am aware there are lots of websites for this, but which are the best ones? Which are genuine? Which are scams that should be avoided at all costs?) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answers so far. I would really like to hear from more people who have actually used the sites mentioned.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 There's always Craigslist - Casual Encounters. I've never personally tried it, but I've heard success stories from people who have. And at least there you can be straight forward and say exactly what you want without leading anyone on or coming off sleazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionquiet-echo - thank you. I was actually hoping to hear from people who have actually tried one of those sites. Have you?
LethalInjection-x. Thank you for your advice. I am aware of all the issues you raised. I realise this isn't for everyone but I've decided that based on where I am in my life this would be a good thing for me. My reasons for this are for another thread, I wanted this to about actual practical of doing it!
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (2 November 2009):
 The first response is handy if you cannot be dissuaded from doing this, so I don't need to suggest anything.
However, I advise against this. I personally also feel more comfortable with "no strings" opposed to relationships, as I don't have time for an emotional commitment currently, but we all have needs. So there are women who want the same thing I can assure you. BUT, I advise against it because it's a very tricky issue for a number of reasons.
You have to set some rules for yourself and be clear with everyone. Obviously, protection is a must when doing this.. seeing as pregnancy and disease is something you have to be aware of.
It's been proven that men are less likely to want to commit to a relationship, so I suppose you could deduce that men are more likely to have no strings sex as well (maybe too much of an assumption?) so you may find that a lot of women end up getting hurt by you.
People lie about wanting sex only, and afterwards they have the potential to get attached emotionally which isn't good for either parties. Obviously you could end up getting emotinally attached too which is not what you're aiming to get out of this. I've personally had a probably with people claiming to want nothing more, but then revealing other desires later.. be aware of this.
You HAVE to make it clear before having sex that that is all it will be. If the woman is offended then so be it, at least she won't get hurt by you.
But I really wouldn't encourage this, it's playing with fire.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): I don't know of any websites that you can go on, but you can meet these type of women anywhere. Work, ball games, grocery stores, etc. Just get out there and network. There is nothing wrong with using the internet if that's your choice.
I would like to give you some advice in regards to the friends with benefits situation. If that is the type of relationship you want to have make sure that the both of you know what that is. If you don't handle things in a certain matter, feelings will get involved. If it's only about sex, then let that be that. Once you meet that person, be upfront with what you want. If both parties agree, then put down the ground rules. Don't start hanging out, no sleep overs, no dinners, no long loving conversations, etc. These are things that two people in a relationship does. If the two of you are adult enough to handle it, then do whatever you want to do. Usually when these issues are involved, somebody ends up having feelings even when it was understood that there was not going to be an exclusive relationship.
In essence, what I am saying is if it is about sex then let it be about that. Only call when you want to hook up and vice versa. If more than that is done, somebody may get hurt. It could possibly be you. Make sure that the two of you have the maturity to deal with that type of relationship. Just some friendly words of advice. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, superdolly +, writes (2 November 2009):
as someone who asked this question and basically got called easy cos im a woman, you can try smooch.com i had a bit of fun with this website x enjoy
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): It's a 'woman' - one of them - or a few 'women' - more than one of them.
Woman = 1 woman
Women = More than 1 woman
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