A
male
age
51-59,
*cull
writes:I am 44, and I have spent the past 3 years working through Immigration to bring my Filipina wife to America. She was an excellent actress and never let on, but now she is here she has left and revealed it was a sham marriage (marriage fraud) just to get here. We were married in the Philippines and there are complications to divorce that will likely take years. In the mean time, how do I find a quality partner for a committed relationship even though I am still bound by paper?
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 I will not keep my mouth shut just like that. I personally dont know really the reason why she do that, everybody has their reason, so if she only do that marriage just to have a foot there in America then i will do my best to bring her back to where she belong. But if she get out in this marriage because she maybe feel some violent or something that hurt her physically or emotionally, well she really has a reason to step away. Well you know inside of you what is the real reason for this. Annulment is not that much hard in Philippines theres a lot of lawyer can help you, specially in City hall Manila. They are friendly their. and i would suggest that before you look for another relationship, better clean up first the mess.. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): Hi, I am very sorry you went through this.
Really it embarrasses me that this woman did this to you, that's the reason why I am not so enthusiastic about western men going to our country to marry these girls coz I know what's on these girls' minds. But i am not talking in general. Some do have succesful marriages and really do fall in love.
From what I know, annulment in my country wont be a problem as long as you have the money and you can hire a good lawyer who can establish a very good ground for the annulment.
I am not so concerned about you finding a new partner as I know that wont be a problem. I am more concerned about this ex wife who left you and I feel ashamed of what she did. You know what to do next time.
Well, since your ex ended the marriage, I don't think she will mind if you find a new gf while on the process of your annulment. I don't think she will have the nerve to be upset, how dare of her. This is all her fault anyway.
Good luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): I'd try to get the marriage annuled and turn her into immigration and have her deported.
Listen at 41, being divorced is not uncommon. You don't owe anyone any details. You married a woman from overseas, it took a long time to get her papers in order, when she finally got here things didn't work out... no blood and gore... keep it simple, don't lie... just don't go into details.
BTW, you were married overseas, so there's not likely a record here in the US, except with immigration, hire an attorney and have them set the US record straight. And don't worry about what the records show in the Philippines, unless your going to go back there and try this again. That nation has set up their rules to assist their own in scamming us...
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 Just date around but let them know upfront what happened...if they stay then they might be the one for you and if they go then they werent the right one! You should try to get that divorce finalized so you can get on with your life! Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): firstly Im very sorry to hear what you have been through.Is there no way to sped up the divorce, if you havent slept together you can get it annuled. perhaps you should also talk to imigration and report her as a fraud case.Sadly your not the only one to fall for this little scam, its actually quite common.Its funny because on this site there are loads of posts from women asking how to meet men just like you.As for meeting someone, the best way to do that is to get out and tyr new things and meet new people, eventually you'll meet someone who wants to be with you.
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A
female
reader, lullabylove +, writes (16 October 2009):
 Well when you talk to a woman dont keep that from her nor must you tell her on the first date. I would tell you to look for one at therepy meetings and clubs or groups. Then when the subject comes up about your fake wife everyone will no after. Then you can pick which one you think are intrested and which ones are not. A girl always likes a sensitve yet not shy kind man. If they know you have had hardship they will be drawn to you. Its a womanly nature. The b**chs will be the only ones that wont run over to you trust me... After the many partners my mother has been is who is 54, I know how good a group or meeting can be...
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