A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have had sex only with my boyfriend so all my sexual experiences have been with him. most of the times i don't have an orgasm, because he comes sooner than me or i get turned off in the middle and therefore become less stimulated. i love foreplay but actual sex somehow doesn't fascinate very much. is it normal to feel so? how do i ensure that i get an orgasm? i hate oral sex too.
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foreplay, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, openmindedandinlove  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 You hate oral sex? You have pretty much ensured that you will never get what you want or have the orgasms that blow your socks off by ruling out oral sex. Sure, there are other ways to get off, but giving and receiving oral sex is absolutely one of, if not the most intimate thing you can share with your partner. Done correctly, and your partner will be forever your adorer. If he learns to do it to you correctly, you will have orgasms like you never thought possible. It takes, passion, heart felt passion and love of doing it to get to the level I'm talking about. It also takes dedication and a true desire to please each other more than you please yourself. You'll get that kind of effort and passion in return. You have to give to get, and hating oral sex is taking, not giving. You are being selfish, I think, and you will never get what you desire from any man until you change your attitude about oral sex. All the best and open your mind to new and wonderful things, including each of you trying oral sex, taking feedback from the other without getting your feelings hurt or your ego bruised. Leave your egos out of the bedroom completely if you want to really get what you want...give what he wants!
A
male
reader, thruxton +, writes (1 February 2011):
 you don't like oral sex and "actual sex doesn't fascinate" you? you do realize that the brain is the greatest sex organ, right.
your only hope is to "cowgirl" your way to orgasm. he'll have to last long enough though and at your age many men can not.
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A
female
reader, Br1dgette +, writes (1 February 2011):
I would tell him that if he gets off it's a requirement to get you off to. If it's important to you it should be important to him.
You need to find out what you like. I would assume the actual sex is less interesting to you because all a small amount of woman get off vaginally just from intercourse. He needs to stimulate your clitoris also. I suggest either a vibrating penis ring or a vibrator so that he can play with you down there while he is thrusting.
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A
female
reader, hammyj  +, writes (1 February 2011):
Ok, well if you don't know what turns you on, then you can't teach him to turn you on. All women are different as to how they get off, and in my experience I didn't have an orgasm until two years into my relationship with my boyfriend. I had to get to know my own body, so there was a lot of self-exploration to learn what works to get me there. And when I eventually figured it out, then I was able to show him, and then he was able to make me orgasm, and moreover, he was really delighted that he could.
I'd recommend you get some toys to play with on your own or with him, and try a few different things. Its probably better to try it out on your own, because then you won't feel the need to focus on him and you can make it all about you with no distractions.
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