A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am having a really big problem… so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He’s a great guy, very sweet, and would never do anything to hurt me. He wants to marry me one day and have a family. We’re 17. So, two months ago my best guy friend and I kissed, and realized he had strong feelings for each other. My boyfriend and I went on a break. 4 days later he asked if I loved him anymore. It hurt me a lot, to know he had to be going through those feelings. I broke up with guy #2 and went back with my boyfriend. After some anger, tears, and tension, my guy friend and I have been getting back to being friends. The other day he said he still liked me. He’s extremely intelligent, and can read me like a book. He knows I want to be with him. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend again. I really don’t. He was my very first love. When I talk to him, I feel happy, but slightly irritated with him, and guilty for what I feel for my guy friend. I’m so confused about this fork in the road. Either way, I’m going to lose someone great. I wish I could pick them both. But that’s not fair to either of them. I just can’t decide.
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male
reader, yesno +, writes (7 April 2011):
You kissed another guy. Do your current boyfriend a favor and break it off and go with the other guy. You're a cheater, don't try to mask it with feelings of consideration for him. Do NOT marry him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Choose one and tell the other what decision you've made. Stop the lying and the deceit because that is what will happen and somebody down the line will get hurt anyway in a big way if you continue down this path. It's obvious your best friend will always be in your life and if that continues so will the emotional cheating and when your boyfriend finds out or when you finally get so "irritated" that you can't fake it or hide it then he'll know something is wrong and the relationship will die anyway. Do whats right for you, whether you hurt someone or not, thats the price for having feelings for and two people having feelings for you.
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A
female
reader, livelaughlove23 +, writes (7 April 2011):
I agree with strongfb! Follow your heart... you will never, ever go wrong if you just follow your heart. Deeeep down, you know who you want to be with. If it's your best friend, you will be doing your boyfriend a favor by admitting to him that you have feelings for someone else-rather than, keeping him as your boyfriend and then later telling him after months, years go by....Your best friend is your best friend for a reason--and obviously, someone you see yourself being with in the future.Now, if (deep down) you feel like it's your boyfriend that you want to be with--then fine. But, make sure you do not ever, ever cross the line with your Best Friend again.But, remember--your boyfriend--your husband, the one you marry, should be your BEST-FRIEND-LOVER all in one! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): What kind of a question is this?I was played by a girl who did the exact same thing to me. At least you kissed your guy friend, this particular girl kept me on the hook like a damned dog, and, of course, she NEVER TOLD me about her boyfriend! And she still has the gall to email me whenever she likes, even though I told her to back off. Guys have hearts too you know.You may be a good person, but you're doing a horrible thing. Redeem yourself by doing this act of kindness to your friend. Atleast his life won't end up in the bus stand waiting for a bus that will never arrive.So please do your guy friend a favour, tell him honestly that you played him and that he should learn from it and find a suitable girl.Thanks.
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