A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My cute younger sister (she's 16) hangs around the public pool wearing a thong bikini. From behind, it looks as though she is totally naked. The boys there gather around her, many whispering, all staring, some spreading the word. If I ask her to stop or to wear a more onventional bikini, it has no effect because we have not got on too well. When I told our Mom, she did nothing, even implying that what my sister was doing is okay, unselfishly "entertaining" the boys. I talked with the manager of the pool, but she said they try not to interfere with what the swimmers wear, not knowing how to draw the line. Is what my sister is doing okay? If not, how do I get her to stop? And how do I get our Mom to support me in this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Em  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 It's good to know that you are looking out for your sister in this way - if only she knew you cared so much huh? At the end of the day, she is 16 and enjoying her own body. You can't relly do anything now but warn her what she may be encouraging amongst the boys that gather around her. At least you tried!
A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I like the take a picture of her from behind idea! lol
You could just make the trashy bikini disappear.
...............................
A
female
reader, goddess cupid +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I understand you're being protective of your little sister, but I agree with only a couple of the posts here. Therefor my advice is that you should just leave her to do her own thing and back off. You will only end up pushing her in to rebelling. 16 year olds do not like to be told what to do and what to wear. x
...............................
A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (30 August 2008):
 I'd leave her alone if I were you. If she's any one's responsibility, it'll be your mum's, and shes okay with it.
The other thing is, the more you tell her not to do something or not to wear a certain garment, the more she'll do it.
My eldest brother was always telling me off for wearing something he disapproved of, even had a go at me for dying the front part of my hair when I was 16, and even though my parents were very strict...they didn't say anything.
Ease up on her, she's not hurting anyone.
She clearly loves wearing that sort of thing, and no doubt loves the attention. She's knows she's got it, so let her flaunt it.
Do you want her to be like some girls who have a complex about their appearance? They nearly always end up not having a decent relationship, and believe me when I tell you ~ that's a whole lot worse.
Give the girl a break and be proud of her.
BigSis
xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 It's hard being a brother or sister and worrying about your sibling. Truth is what she is wearing has no bearing on who she is or what she is doing. Unfortunately she will find out and hopefully not the hard way that kind of attention can lead to serious trouble if with the wrong and most disrespectful person.
All you can do is back off. Concentrate on yourself and keep an eye out for her. That's it. Be there to love her, compliment her, and if you don't agree with her just say you don't but it's her life to live.
That's why they call it growing up. It's not easy but I wish you well and her too.
~ Abbeymom
...............................
A
female
reader, 0peachy0keen0 +, writes (29 August 2008):
I have exactly the same problem with a younger sister (14) who comes onto all of my guy friends. She wears tiny tops and skirts and she looks so eugh and ive tried to make her stopbut i just get the piss ripped out of me by her and my mum! I dont think theres anything you can do! :( Atleast try tho saying she is looking abit slutty!:o
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Maybe you could try a little reverse psychology, though I don't know if it might be too late for that. You say you and her have not gotten along well. But you also said "she is such a beautiful girl." Maybe you should tell her that, and do it quite often. Like compliment here on what she wears, telling her she looks beautiful, and ask her if she's ever thought about modeling. Tell her you think she would be a good model, and offer to take some pictures of her. Maybe even buy her a top or shorts or some other piece of clothing or accessory that you know she would really like, and offer to take some pictures of her in the new clothes. You could also offer to take pictures of her in that bikini. If you keep complimenting her and telling her things like that, she will start to feel good towards you and be more inclined to listen to your opinion. Then, once you have earned her trust, you can gently tell her that maybe she would wear a more modest bikini, cuz you're afraid of what the guys at the pool are saying when they see her in that bikini, cuz it makes her look naked in it. Then tell her about the older guys who hang around the pool, and you don't want something bad to happen to her if one of those perverts grabs her as she's leaving the pool.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of you who have taken the trouble to give me advice, but I am afraid that my hands are tieed because she has never listened to any thing I have said. She is such a beautiful girl. It would be a shame if anything like some of you fear will happen would happen. One hope is that I will pass your comments to her mother, who was like her at her age but she got through all right. That colors her attitude of hands off my sister.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Anyone who says leave her alon, clearly isnt a brother with a sister.
Personally would go down the be a complete jerk route and not even let her go out in something like that, telling her not to mau work depending on who she is. But if were my sister i wouldnt let her no matter. Just a brother speaking
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Another thing you might try is actually complimenting her on the bikini. Tell her that she looks really hot and sexy in it. I would even go so far as to tell her that she looks smokin' hot in the bikini, and that it shows off her unbelievably hot body. But then say that you are concerned that she looks TOO hot and sexy, cuz guys are whispering about her. Tell her you are afraid that she looks so hot that she might get raped or groped or sexually assaulted by older guys. Tell her that there are a lot of perverts who hang around the pool looking at young girls, and you are afraid that she might get attacked one day when she's leaving the pool, and how much you would hate to see that happen to her. Maybe that will scare her into wearing a more modest bikini or one-piece swimsuit.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 August 2008):
Tell her that you've seen photos of her online labeled "Slut" and lots of old men were commenting on it and asking for more details and what school she goes to. You can always find a picture site like 4chan and tell her it's been taken down but it was there. Any of the boys could have taken the pics with a phone and she wouldn't have noticed.
Girls of that age love looking sexy, I wore far too little though because you son't realise that you're going to far.
If she realises that people are not thinking she's J-Lo but instead that she's a teen prostitute and possible easy target to molest then she might cover up.
Make her see the dangers. You don't have to tell her off or be mad at her, just let her see that you are an older brother and looking out for her like you are supposed to.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it. I think she knows what she's doing. She's probably horny and wants to attract guys, so she knows this is one way to do it. Just out of curiosity, does she look hot when she's in the thong? Also, how much older than her are you? If there's a big age difference between the two of you, she may look at you the same way she looks at her parents, so that may be why telling her to wear a different bikini doesn't have any effect.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 August 2008):
 I know I wouldn't let my 16 year old daughter wear a thong in public, but I guess your hands are tied in this situation. If your sister and mother think this is okay, what's a brother to do?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): You need to talk to her, just say as your older brother I'm protective over you and I know what these guys are thinking and easy and slut could be in their thoughts.
But it's her choice
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Take a picture of her from behind. Maybe that wakes her up...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): to be honest i would just let her get on with it and focus on your self, i know you might be looking out for her but if no one sees whats wrong with what she is doing then i would just let her get on with it and anything that happens will be her fault for wearing something like that.
...............................
|
