A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:One of my colleagues at work is a persistant and convincing liar and constantly puts the wrap for things that go wrong on me. I am not very good at confrontation and i can feel my nerves going and heart racing when this is happening, the manager is her sister in law so this is also difficult. This woman is very pretty and puts on the sweetest voice you have ever heard and i have to admit so good at being so false she could win an oscar, i can see right through her but am no good at standing my ground. I have been working at this place for three years and it is a good job, she has been there 14 years and thinks she owns the place but i dont know how much more i can take, how do i get the confidence to stand up to her without making myself ill
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at work, confidence, liar, sister in law Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello and thank you all for replying and they have been helpful ones. Anonymous, i can understand you saying you think i may be jealous and was aware that people reading could think this when i posted the question, i can hand on heart say no to that, as i said, could sound bitchy, no i am too old for that game. Yes could be anger what i feel with heart races or frustration at my own self for not being brave enough or gutless to say what is really happening. thank you all xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Hi
I am sorry but i have to be honest, there are quite a few things that you say that sound like you are quite jealous of her! sorry. But i am not saying i don't believe you either..maybe this confrontation should begin within yourself first...and look at your real feelings. The fact that your heart races etc can be ANGER you know the flight or fight feeling,#. try and work out why you feel so threatened is it external or an internal reason and is it REAL? Please don't be offended but often it's not what people do to us but how we react that can change things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI i didn't put in my question that i am the assistant manager and this woman is a support worker, i am more senior and ten years older. I also know that two assistant managers previous to me have left because of her. Do think this sounds rather bitchy situation but she has form for it, its how strong can you be. Thankyou for taking the time to read and reply x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 August 2008):
Talk to your boss and say that you are unhappy that things keep being made to look your fault. DON'T make any accusations but tell her how the stress is making you ill because you are not standing up for yourself.
Agree that you will write down everything you do and bring it to her every night... she'll soon see that you are not the one letting people down when you are constantly saying "asked X of Sarah (or what ever evil girl's name is)" then next day "repeated X to Sarah, she said she would get back to me." then when X falls through, you have evidence that you did your bit.
Good Luck!! xx
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