A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I'm fourteen, turning fifteen in about two weeks.Just a few days ago, I sorta got into a relationship with a boy who's very close to my age and in my grade (so age isn't a problem). I say sorta because nothing's official, but we both know we are interested in each other, we just wanted to wait until after vacation (which started on Friday) to make things official.My problem isn't him, it's my mother. I've been considering going on birth control for awhile now, one to regulate my period and two to be protected if for any chance something happens.Now before you go and say I'm too young to be having sex, I'd like to say that I know I am, and I don't plan on having sex for awhile, but when and if I do, I don't imagine it being a planned thing (like, "Oh, we're going to have sex next week on Tuesday" or something like that). The only things I know about birth control, however, is that it doesn't protect you immediately after you start taking it and it regulates your period somewhat. Also, I don't believe in not having sex before marriage. Of course, if someone does, I'm not going to judge them, I just don't see it that way. I just believe that you should wait until it's someone who you're actually in love with (not just attracted to, but someone who you've been with for awhile, you've gotten to know them extremely well, you trust and are comfortable with them in every way).I tried bringing up the situation of birth control the other day in the car, but she only saw it as me just wanting to have sex with this boy, which further gave her the idea of severely restricting me from him. This is definitely the opposite of what I wanted and I just don't know how to bring it up again without her flipping out on me.Now, I like to think of myself as a smart girl for my age, and I'm not going to allow someone to take advantage of me. This boy is one of my best male friends actually, and I'm extremely trusting of him because of that. I just want to be protected if our relationship ever, EVER, comes to the point where we do go further.I didn't really know who to turn to, mainly because none of my friends have gone through this (though one of them was pretty much made to go on the pill) and my mother is definitely not being helpful.I don't want to go behind her back or anything; I just want to protect myself.Please and thank you for the help!
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male
reader, CrazyMind  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Heya.
I'm not fully aware of the law regarding to contraception in the US, but I know that in the UK it is free (on the NHS)
Perhaps try a Planned Parenthood clinic, or make an appointment with your doctor if possible - patient confidentiality should say they can't tell your parents.
When you do eventually have sex, remember that being on the Pill doesn't protect against STIs - use a condom.
Regards,
- Crazy.
[The following is taken from a response at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-go-on-the-pill-.html]
[A female reader, oneeyeopenoneeyeclosed United States +, writes (4 May 2008):
When I was in high school, I went to Planned Parenthood to get on birth control. There was no way I could tell my uber-Catholic mother that I was having premarital sex and I didn't want to take any chances of my doctor or my health insurance company telling my mom that I was going to the gyno. Planned Parenthood made the birth control and the doctor visit affordable without my parent's insurance, and I knew that there was no way that my secret was getting out.
I'm in the US, but I googled Planned Parenthood and it looks like there are locations all over the world. Check out their website http://www.ippf.org/en/ It's a tremendous organization.
And I hate to beat a dead horse, but make sure you protect yourself against STDs and HIV. Wear a condom. And if you're ever thinking about not wearing a condom, which I don't recommend, but if you do, make sure he gets tested beforehand. He can go to Planned Parenthood too. My high school boyfriend actually came with me to Planned Parenthood and got tested before we had sex, plus we used condoms and birth control pills on top of that.
Props to you for being responsible. Let us know if you need anything else.]
Go to http://www.brook.org.uk for advice, and for details about alternative methods of contraception, http://www.brook.org.uk/content/M3_1_contraception.asp
A
female
reader, littletigle11 +, writes (20 April 2009):
 The last line is what you should say to her.
"I don't want to go behind her back or anything; I just want to protect myself."
She's your mom, she should understand and always be there for you.
It should be fine, but good luck anyway.x
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 April 2009):
 ha-ha you made me laugh then lol saying you're not planning it like next week Tuesday ha-haanyways back to the questionjust tell her you are fed up of your periods being so out of sync and you would like a period you can keep an eye on and know when it will happen rather than always thinking is it today?will it be tomorrow?or next week.if she says about you wanting sex just say to her that she should trust you not to do anything silly and you just want periods you can keep an eye on and know as and when they will happen rather than they come when you least expect it so that you can ALWAYS be prepared for them.hope this help.s
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