A
female
age
41-50,
*resca
writes:I had sex with my colleague, whom I have fancied for a long time, (I never hinted that I liked him though), he has been having fantasies about me as well. So, we did it but spoke first that there won't be feelings involved, as he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. Problem now is, after the night of passion, I seem to be falling for this guy and I confessed to him, he said he has feelings for me too but I should know and accept where he stands in life (meaning that he will never part with his girlfriend), I don't have a problem with that, but I somehow feel like I have made a total fool of myself. I don't normally do the "feelings" thing, especially after having had my heart ripped out of my chest by an ex, so what is happening to me because I don't want to get hurt again. How do I build a wall between me and this colleague, 'cause I dont wanna love him...
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 That's the problem with sex. It's an intimate and deeply personal thing. You had casual sex with a man you already had some feelings for, and it cemented those feelings for you. You betrayed the trust of your BF and yet want to stay with him.
I'm sorry, truly, but that kills relationships and breaks hearts. Be honest with your BF, and maybe look for a new job where you won't bump into this guy you cheated with, but know that sex is NEVER truly no-strings-attached. It always affects your heart.
A
female
reader, mint  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 these things happen its all a part of life, just try and concentrate on your relationship with your boyfriend, do something to take your mind off him, im sure its jus a crushkeep me updated xx
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A
male
reader, bouncer  +, writes (22 September 2009):
Will people ever learn ? You yourself had your heart broken by an ex and what do you do ? you cheat on your boyfriend that was very nice of you. This RAT that you had sex with only used you. So now you must do the decent thing and confess to your boyfrind he may or may not forgive you but at least be honest with him you owe him that. Also i would urge you to tell that RATS girlfriend as she also deserves to know.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Your both adults, and you took a risk. I dont believe that either of you really love your partners otherwise this would not have happened. Perhaps its time to move on and find a man that you can stay faithfull to.
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A
female
reader, Fresca +, writes (22 September 2009):
Fresca is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your honest responses. reflecting on my past pain, will remind me every second of how far i should stay away from this guy and coming back to me, i am not close to my boyfriend lately, so i'd rather be alone really than allow myself to used in my moments of being fragile.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Sorry but you cheated on your bf and he cheated on his gf...
Wake up and smell the roses, he has used you for free exciting sex... you are nothing more to him.
The best you can do is cut all contact with him and move on with your life... if need be.. find a new job!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Sorry but my sympathy in this story is with your poor BF and his GF.
I think you need to get real here, you cant just jump into bed with someone and then not have feelings for them, if you do be prepared to spend time on your own because its fairly heartless in my honest opinion.
You have got to tell your BF and hopefully that will take your mind off this guy because youll be going through a breakup.
Sorry if I seem harsh but you have been in your bf shoes and yet you did that to him. You need to be an adult and face that.
As for this guy will he cheated on his GF why would you want a guy who will do that?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
He's used you. Stick with that though and that alone. He used and hurt you. And he will always hurt you. Focus on your relationship with your boyfriend. Hopefully in time, you'll realize he is absolutely not the guy for you at all. Don't be in a rooom alone with hime, don't socialize with him. Don't do anything like that. That's all I can suggest really, so I hope it helps. x
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