A
female
age
36-40,
*ldromantic2010
writes:So I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 8 years but I dont know how to go about it, i'm really scared as I know he will be really upset with me. But I have been really unhappy for some time. I try to pretend that the way we are living and have been living for the last 2 years has been fine but it isn't. Any advice on things I can say to make this process easier?? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Breaking up is never easy...it's best the tell the truth and nothing but the truth. If he loves you, he will be hurt by the breakup---8 years is a long time to be with someone. This is one of the things I hate about relationships and getting to know ppl in general...all the time you put into it, only to find out later on that it wasn't meant to be for whatever reason.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 Arrange to meet him somewhere for lunch so that you won't be alone with him when you break the bad news - if you think he's going to perhaps cause trouble when you tell him.
You have to be kind, but honest. Presumably you have tried to work out the things you were not happy about, and have not had any success? Let him know you value the good things about your relationship - and I guess there must have been some things you liked - but after giving it a lot of thought you have come to the conclusion that the two of you are not really well-suited. I would try to make it fairly brief, and be willing to listen to what he says and to answer any questions he likely will have.
Then, wish him well, and leave separately, having let him know there will be no more contact between you......good luck!
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A
female
reader, Traycie +, writes (12 July 2010):
You guys have been together for a very long know each other very well but because of how close and how long you have been together its going to hurt no matter what but the best thing you can do is just be totally honest with him sit down and calmly tell him about how you feel and why you feel the way you do i mean its going to hurt him that you're ending things with him but it'll hurt him less by being honest with him
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A
female
reader, fedup123 +, writes (12 July 2010):
hey,
obviously 8 years is a long time and youve both clearly spent a good chunk of your lives together, but i think the best thing you can do is sit down and tell him the truth. no messing around, none of this "its not you its me" stuff, just tell him that youre sorry, but you feel the relationship hasnt been right for some time and as a result of that, you now feel it has run its course. encourage him to stay friends if you both feel that can happen, after all 8 years is a long time and theres no reason why you cant carry on being civil :)
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female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (12 July 2010):
 breaking up can never be easy for me i also have a boyfriend and i want to break up with him so i will tell you one and one that i know exacly how u feel even though i have no idea on what i want to say even though its always in my head but it never comes out id say tell him the truth in how you feel and be honest with him it may hurt but its better then lieing to him and yourself isnt it so... even though its gonna hurt he will understand in time be brave !!lets be brave together!!
good luck!!
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