A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been with my boyfriend now for just over 2 years and it's been a good relationship. He's 25 and I'm 22 and we live together. The problem is that I love him but I'm no longer in love with him. I've been thinking for the last 5 or six months about how I don't want to be with him any more, and even thinking of what I'm going to do next - like where I'll live etc. But he loves me so much, he wants to get married, he calls me all the time when I'm not at home etc. It's sweet but because I'm not happy with him anymore, it's a little annoying. I want to move on because I don't feel as strongly as he does, I am also afraid of him in a way. he has never hit me but he gets angry really quickly and just yells at me and is really nasty. I'm a quiet person so I nover respond and I think that the anger and resentment has built up to the extent that I don't love him anymore. It's difficult because we live together and he just lost his job so I'm effectively looking after him financially. I have tried to break it off twice this month saying I'm not happy anymore, but he won't let go. I even told him I was going to leave the country but he says that we can work it out and he knows I'll come back and we can be together. I love him - he is the best friend I have ever had. But i don't want to be with him. How do I break up with him without totally crushing his heart? I need to get out of this relationship. I just don't know how.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for you answers. They helped me sort things our in my head. It's been really difficult, but last night, I told him that i wanted out. It seemed like he had accepted it, but now he's fighting for us. He wants to hold on and he's offering to change himself etc, all things I don't want him to do. He's holding on and i think he wants me to say all the nasty things in order for him to believe me.
It's hard, but the process began. He's gone out for a little while. I'll update you all again when it has been resolved.
Thanks again everyone xxx
A
female
reader, leo3  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 you just need to do it. like ripping off a bandaid. do it in the nicest way that you can. dont say anything you might regret but let him know you dont want to be with him anymore. no matter how you say it he wont take it well. he'll be hurt and heartbroken, but you shouldnt stay with him if you no longer love him you need to get on with your life and know that he WILL be ok in the end.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2009):
There isn't a nice way, but there is a safe way. If he has a temper, make sure a friend is with you when you do it for safety. No, it's not dignified, but it'll get the point across. Then make it very clear that you want no contact at all. That means do not be friends, do not talk, don't anything. Delete alls his numbers and if he tries any contact, don't contact him back. If you're afraid of him, you shouldn't be wth him anyway, so it's better you split and get it over and done with quickly. Lots of luck. x
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (23 September 2009):
 I agree with previous comments... there is NO NICE way to do this. You have to just bite the bullet and tell him. If you are afraid of his temper then I would pack my things and move out then ask him to meet me somewhere public. (This is bad but if you are worried for your safety)! Otherwise, just call him during the day and tell him you need to talk to him and its serious ... then when you get home he is in the frame of mind to expect a talk. Sit him down and tell him that its over. If he is in your place then maybe get a friend over to sit in another room while you have this talk then at least there is someone there if things get out of hand. Bite the bullet hun. Don't break up with him in a NICE way... you have to make a clean break coz its not fair to give false hope. Let him know ITS OVER. Good luck and keep us posted! xx
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