A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Before I go on I thought a bit of info might be useful. I'm 16, and have never unlike everyone (it seems)been in a relationship. A months ago I met this girl. I never really noticed it until recently but I think there may be something between us. Whenever I see her my mood shoots up. She's amazing. No matter what the circumstance she's always smiling which is why people either smile themselves or hate her because they're jealous by the fact she's happy in this terrible world. She doesn't care what those people think though, because she's so outgoing and confident. I never realized but whenever we talk to each other I'm always smiling. Apart from me only one person knows that I like her which sadly isn't her. The friend I have that knows says that they think the feelings are mutual but I really don't know. Apparently we both flirt with each other without even realizing. I really like this girl, but I don't know if I should tell her and ask her out. I feel as if I'm a million leagues out of hers and that I'll never be able to summon the courage to actually ask her out. I feel as if the answer will be "no" since there are so many people in her league and I'm just the smart kid. So here's my question. What should I do?
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (18 September 2016):
When you're younger, you always think pretty girls are "out of your league". But the woman you describe has substance, and girls with substance think boys with substance are sexy.
The key here is what you'll lose if you don't ask her out. The chance that this is really the perfect girl for you.
I agree is what you need here is confidence. But she obviously likes you, so that should help you with your confidence right there. A pretty woman likes you so much, she obviously flirts with you in front of others. That would be a real boost to my confidence.
And if she says no, don't worry about it. My friend was told no by the prettiest girl in school 4 times. Each time, he made made the asking sillier and funnier. Finally, on the fifth time she said yes, and they are still together now.
The fact that you like such a good girl should give you confidence as well. If you feel you need more confidence, do things that will boost it, like volunteering or doing that favorite activity more that you're really good at.
You'll be fine. I would go for it.
Good luck. Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (18 September 2016):
If you think "shes out of your league" dont even bother. The first thing you need to fix is your confidence. Women as a general rule do not date DOWN. If you want to get a high value woman, you'd better be extremely high value yourself. That starts with confidence.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 September 2016):
 If you never ask, the answer will always be "no". But if you ask, you never know. Nobody is ever out of someone else's league. You are just lacking confidence (and trust me, not all of your mates who say they have had relationships have had them in the real world). As you and this girl already chat, and as she seems happy to do that, ask if you can walk home with her (assuming she walks home), or if she fancies a coffee, or going to see a film with you. Fortune favours the brave. Go for it. And good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (17 September 2016):
 Not sit one the side lines and be kicking yourself later that someone else has had the courage to ask her out. That would be far more of a piss off than having to live and learn from a possible rejection. Remember what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So my advice would be to keep it simple, try and ask her in the same tone that you would a mate, not all gushy and keep it casual. Your 16 so I think coffee is a good idea for starters. Everyone catches up for coffee, it's the norm. IF she says no, try hard not to let it bum you out, instead a casual response of something like " Ok, well if you change your mind let me know'. Good luck mate, I hope it works out for you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2016): You won't know unless you try! The worst that will happen is that you feel a bit embarrassed and maybe a bit heart broken for a while. The sooner you ask, the sooner you can either be with her or start moving on.
Maybe ask if she fancies going bowling or doing an activity of some sort and if she turns you down you can always imply that it was intended as a group activity rather than a date.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (17 September 2016):
 Just if she wants to get tea/coffee after school, or if you have a class together, ask if she wants to study for an upcoming test, something like that. If she isn't interested, she won't go for it. I think the worst thing you can do is crush, build someone up into some kind of demi-goddess, that kind of rejection just hurts more because you've projected all these hopes and dreams on someone who may not reciprocate. Just rip the bandaid and find out! Don't think of it as some dire end all/be all. Think of it more like a social experiment, of putting yourself out there and receiving a response. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, we're not meant for all the people in the world, doesn't mean you won't be right for someone else.
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