A
female
age
30-35,
*aileyLove
writes:I've known this guy for 2 years, we're not best friends but we're good friends. I'll stop by and see him at work, or he'll do the same for me. But last night our mutual friend stranded us both, and we got to talk. In the meantime he said that he thought I was attractive and that he wanted to be FWB. He doesn't like to date, and I broke up with my boyfriend less than a week ago. He thinks it'll make me move on faster, which it will, and he wants, well, sex. I don't see the problem with it, as long as he doesn't tell our friends. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): I was in your situation a month ago and tbh I said yes to the fwb, but haven't known the guy for ages and over and over emphasised I didn't want anything serious and him to expect anything from me and what will be will be but I waited to know things were deffo over between me andy ex because there would be no getting over with sleeping with someone else and then getting back together. I agree to leave it 3 weeks- a month to really tell if things are going to go back to the way they were withou and or ex if not hae a bit of harmless fun but make sure he knows it's not serious and get to know yourself again :)
Just be careful :)
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (19 August 2012):
Don’t rush to give him an answer. Take your time and think this through. Would this really help you to move on more quickly from your recent relationship breakup? Or would you actually be substituting meaningless sex for dealing with your emotions and going through the natural process of coming to terms with what’s happened. Also, FWB rarely works very well because there’s always a significant risk that one person will develop emotional feelings for the other person that aren’t then reciprocated, even if they start practicing this arrangement believing that this is just not going to happen to them. It opens you up to getting badly hurt again. The other problem is that, at some point, you may well resent being used for some-one else’s no-strings thrills.
There’s a lot to think about, so for now, if you’re not yet convinced that this is a bad idea, tell him that you want to wait a while to think it through before giving him an answer. Ask yourself whether you’d agree to this if you hadn’t just split with your ex so recently, and consider whether you’re not able to make the best judgement at this time because of your emotional state. I would very much caution you against this, it seems, in most cases, to go wrong further down the road, for all kinds of reasons and in so many different ways. Do you want to be having sex with some-one who’s trying to capitalise on your recent misfortune to get sex? A good friend would make you a cup of tea, let you cry on his shoulder, or just pop around once in a while just to check you’re okay, not try and use the knock your confidence will have taken to try and get you in to bed.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (19 August 2012):
 Okay you answered the question yourself when you said you didn't see a problem just keep it on the downlow and if he is accepting the its going to happen so let him get a test drive Its also seems you want to test ride him to have fun good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): Do you not think he's just being selfish and taking advantage of the fact that you have just split up from your boyfriend, and he thinks you will be an emotional wreck that will drop your kecks for the first person that says a few nice words to you?
The vital point I'm making without writing too long of a reply, is at this point you're vulnerable.
You need to be 100% sure you're over your ex and that there is absolutely NO chance of giving things another go with him, because if you do sleep with this guy then get back with your ex, you may well feel disgusted, regretful and guilty about your indulgence with that guy.
At least give it 3weeks to a month, and if by that time you still haven't got back with your ex, and you're moving on from him, then decide what to do.
Its easy to jump into bed with someone when you're emotionally torn and fragile over a relationship breakdown, but when you're clear of all them emotions you may decide you don't need the company of another male just yet, and the very thought of casual sex with someone may in fact disgust you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 August 2012):
If you don't see a problem with it, that's fine. Except, you do have a problem - you want to keep it hidden.
Now, you must surely be aware that there' a good chance that it'll come out? Why exactly do you not want this to come out?
Also, it might not help you move on, and in the end you might feel that you went from one problem to another.
And what happens if you fall or him and end up broken hearted again?
All in all, when you start to look into what you're suggesting, it doesn't seem like such a good idea.
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