A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It has been 2 years and I still haven't gotten over my ex-girlfriend. I have done everything in the book to get rid of these feelings.I've been exercising, deleted her number and everything that reminded me of her. I dont check her Facebook and I moved far away. I have dated others but she is constantly on my mind. I broke up with her on impulse and went away for some time. She was already married when I came back but I was told that it was only out of need and desperation. I sent her an email last year with just the word hi... And she responded with "hi...:(" I told myself I wasn't going to break up a marriage so I blocked her after that. I thought my feelings would change after some time but I am still so in love with her and I'm afraid i will still be after 20 years.
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male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (21 August 2012):
 Sorry I had to make it sting, dude. I needed you to understand that you won't completely move on unless you cut her from your life. I know it's hard to think of the erson you love loving someone else.
You have to feel worse before you can feel better. Once you cut this last string then you can truely start to move on. I wish you luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): Grymsoul - Thanks for the response man. I really appreciate what you said and even though it stung to hear that she loves her husband, that is probably what I need to get through my head. I haven't talked to her in over a year and I have deleted all our contacts. Friends and family know better than to bring her up because I don't want to hear it. I broke it off because I felt like she was suffocating me and needy. She had kids from a previous marriage and I was a big part of that divorce actually. I felt wrong about that so I broke it off too. We were only together for 2 years and she married her current husband after 2 months of knowing him and a month after I told her I was done.
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (19 August 2012):
You seem to be doing everything right EXCEPT YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH HER. Cut ALL contact now if you really want to move on for good. That means no one relaying info to you about her and not checking up. That's not called moving on, that's called pretending to be distant. You obviously haven't completely given up on her because you're still feeling the need to email her. Don't block her, delete her. Don't think about how she's doing, forget about if she's ok or not and let the past go. Tell all your friends and family that you don't want to know anything about her. I don't know whose idea it was to inform you she was married but the plain fact is, there is someone that's still poking at your wound by giving you gossip of her life. As long as you know what's going on with her, you'll always be wondering 'what if'.Stop pretending to let go and LET GO. Completely let her go. Meaning, cut all communication and never look back. Also that thing about her getting married only out of need and desperation is going to play with your mind to no end. How do you know this for sure? I know you want to believe that's the reason because you want a sliver of hope to stay alive. That small amount of hope will always be your downfall. No it is not out of need and desperation. She married because she loves the other guy. She married because she has moved on and fallen in love again. You need to get that into your head so that you don't keep this hope alive. I too did the same thing. I was with my ex for 3 1/2 years. For a whole year I couldn't let go because we wanted to remain as friends. I found that it was just too painful to be just friends with her. I then decided to completely vanish out of her life. It took another year for me to get where I am right now. I now have no desire or passion to be with her. I visit facebook all the time but I have no temptation to check up on her. My friends and family know not to talk about her because I am compeletely done with that relationship. She's not coming back. She's not going to visit and she's not going to call. That's it. No more of her so need to bring her up in conversations.Also there is one last resort for you. You said you broke up with her on impulse so there could really be some unfinished feelings on your part. Maybe you should try talking to her one last time. Tell her why you broke up with her and why you feel the way you do. Do not tell her you still have feelings for her but tell her how happy you are that's she's married and getting on with her life. This will bring closure to you. Closure is probably what you need to move on. After you get that, you should definitely vanish for good and never look back.If you keep picking at the wound, the cut will never heal.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (19 August 2012):
 How long were you with her for? If it was a number of years, then it may take longer to fully get over her. You're doing everything right so far, keep at it!
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