A
female
age
51-59,
*igiau
writes:I'm in a relationship with someone, this is the second time around we are together. First time he couldn't decide what he wanted and I moved on. I need advice please, he is 10 years older than I am. I'm just irritated with some things he does. Firstly I find that he's set in his ways. His way is always right and I find it annoying how he communicates it to me, sort of in a condescending way where I feel like an uneducated individual. For Example.. We went away for a weekend, get to unpack our stuff and I'm putting things away in the freezer and he says, why you putting it in there. It goes in the fridge as we're going to eat it. so a few days later the stuff is spoilt and I dont even get a "oops you were right, should have listened". If I suggest something, it's always his way. When we left our holidays I took a small peanut butter and butter and he's like, are you stealing their stuff. In the very next line he says "dont forget to pack the wine", so Im like oh, now you're not stealing their stuff. We weren't even stealing or anything, it was just stuff provided to us where we lived for a few days. I was shocked at his comment, and decided to give it right back to him. He's always wanting to take charge but it's just over stupid stuff really. I'm so sick of it though. It sounds really childish what I'm saying but its driving me nuts and I find that when he behaves like this it drives me away from him as I want to be left on my own and i ind tht i treat him differently. Now he's a great guy, apart from this as he's considerate and kind and educated and has a fantastic job etc. but I just feel I need some respect. I'm not stupid, and need to be treated like I can think as I'm very independent, have my own place, great job, etc and I certainly don't need this crap. Is it me or what's going on. I tend to just ignore it sometimes but it's really getting to me. I raised it once before and he was very surprised. He was married before and his wife relied on him to get everything done. She hardly ever worked. I said if he treated her this way, he's not going to do it to me successfully as I won't tolerate it. Sometimes I feel like a slave, just doing things as he wants them done. I find it really disrespectful. I guess there are ways of communicating with people, especially those you claim you love. Am I being critical or analyzing things too much? I just feel like I'm suffocating in this relationship with just this aspect as I'm all about respect and values. The fact tht I have said something back to him when I was irritated leaves me questioning my values and morals. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): I understand where you are coming from. It seems that you are in a relationship with someone that has an ego and is not a very patient person. He also seems like he always has to be right even when he isnt. He also does not seem to be apologetic when he is wrong. I obviously cannot tell you that you deserve better and need to move on but I can say you dont deserve to be treated like that. I know that he loves you and he is human and everyone has flaws and makes mistakes but unless you vocalize the problem to him then he cannot fix it. If he listens and fails to fix it then you have to make a decision on how you want to be treated for the (possible) rest of your life. It may be hard to be alone again but you still have 1/2 your life yet and you deserve to live it with the utmost happiness. I know this sounds difficult to do as you do not want to hurt someone you love but if he cannot change it will be better for both of you in the long run (though it will hurt like hell in the short term). Seek counseling early if you get depressed.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (19 August 2012):
 Oh my wow maybe you are having issues and perhaps you and him can't be together cause you can't talk when people or parents do this one sided talking Im just leaving then whats funny is I hear I have attitude and I need to learn how to talk to people which I do I talk to them how they talk to me which is any kind of way mostly also then I just advoid them all together cause I dont relate to them anymore I dont care they fell to realize too you get what you put out whether its truth or lie manipulated or scripted off top of head its not about Karma for me please but treat me how you want to be treated in all aspects cause I can reflect back what your actions and sayings are
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