A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I will try to be breif but since my LD bf and I met in March this year we have had a roller coaster of a relationship. Due to my past and lots of other things going on in my life ( My Dad being diagnosed with cancer one of them) I have been little more than a shadow of myself. My bf has been hugely supportive through all these trouble an has taken a lot of rubbish from me, getting upset, feeling insecure, over analysing our relationship, constantly going on and wearing him down. Him losing his job is also another factor. There have been soooo many rubbish things happen between us. This consequently has taken its toll on our relationship. I had beleived that from my end these past few weeks I have been back to my previous form. However he feels that all this has worn him down and I think he can only see the bad things from before. Last night he seemed off with me and told me he didnt want to see me at the weekend. Its been about a month since we have seen each other. It was quite late and we finished the conversation with me saying all I wanted was to show him how good we can be and how much I am now back to myself. Its so hard when you are so far away. The way you say things on the phone are misunderstood and texts taken the wrong way etc. I asked him how i should go to sleep, positive or negative and he said positive. This morning I emailed him some of my favourite pictures of us when we have had a really good time together- entitled my favourite pictures and I sent a little video message saying good morning and that I hoped he thought I and us was worth giving it a chance. I thought sending a mail was better than a text to bug or annoy him. Im not sure when he will check his emails.Do I text to say I have sent a mail? Leave it? wait for him to contact me? I just so want this to work between us. he has been the most amazing thing in my life. I understand it takes time but what is the best way for me to be. i dont want to crowd him but also I dont want him to think Im not putting in the effort to make up for my mistakes and make things work. We have never gone a day without some sort of communicaton, hardly ever gone a day without speaking. Any advice would be greatfully taken as I just want to make it better
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 You have sent him a lovely mail, so now leave it at that and let him contact you first! He obviously needs a bit of space right now to get his head around things and what he wants, so I think you should give him some space and allow him to contact you when he is ready.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): Hello! I'm so sorry for all you have been through, it sounds like you've gone through an awful lot over the past years. But honestly, if he's stood by you and you've stood by him all that time, then he's most likely going to stand by you now. I think that he just needs a break perhaps, just to get his head around things maybe, because where he may be trying to help you he hasn't had the time to sort himself out. It's a great idea to send quick emails and similar sort of things, but honestly don't bug him. You've put in the effort by sending him these things, but don't hassle him. He'll reply when he's ready and i think then you need to properly talk things through. Don't think of it as sorting things out, just act normal, do normal things, and if you always have text him every morning for example, carry on doing that, but don't do any more. Sorry if this doesn't help. Hope everything sorts out soon for you! :-))
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