A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm wondering if anyone would like to share their story of when they found the person they wanted to spend the rest of their life with? How did you know? (whether you are still with that person or not it doesn't matter)I was talking to my dad a little while ago, and he told me the moment he saw my mom he just knew she was the one. Personally I have found someone I could see myself being with for the rest of my life, sadly they aren't ready to be with me. I've decided to wait, cause I have that same feeling, I just know. Now I bet i'll get a bunch of people saying, at 18, you can't possibly know who you are going to marry, or even what love is. My question to you is at what age does one acquire the knowledge of love? Also, maybe your own definition of love. Just wanted to see peoples opinions on the subject, and of course to answer my first question.Thanks for your time :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): When I saw my husband for the first time, everyone else in the room disappeared and all I could do was look at him. I knew then that I was going to fall in love with him. I did.
But don't get hung up on this "soulmate" idea. There are billions of people in the world, and those people change many times during the course of their lives. You can be with many different people and be happy. There is no "made for each other" and every relationship takes work.
And though long term relationships are lovely, it doesn't mean that the ones that don't last forever are any less meaningful or real. Sometimes, love develops over years. Soemtimes it comes and goes in a month! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Kevin, you made me tear up.:(
What a deep love you have for her! I think she really IS just experimenting...and sometimes girls need to learn the hard way---to really FEEL what they're missing (can you understand that?) This is such a big risk, because she Could lose you...
This reminds me of a book I read. A man had his 'mind made up' that he wanted this woman. She thought he was just pursuing her because he was tired of being a bachelor. Anyways, each time they talked, he was giving and patient with her, tried to help her...and when they parted, under his breath he'd say 'When you're ready, I will come" To make a long story short, she had to go through some tough times to Realize the man she wanted all along was Him. He was her rock. Her blinders came off, and saw he was the One.
Hoping the best for you too!
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 i was 18 when i met my boyfriend, im now 23 and still with him. so he's the "one"!! 18 is not too young to know, you cant help your age when you meet the person you know you're going to be with, whether its 18 or 38 - it doesnt change.
i knew that we were going to be together for ages the first time i slept with him. we stayed up for ages talking and laughing, it was completely comfortable and i felt so at ease. for me that was the first time i'd felt like that. it was then that i knew we would last. as for knowing he's the "one" - i think thats something you just come to know over time. im with my bf 4 years, he still gives me butterflies, makes me laugh, and makes me feel like im the only person in the world to him - thats defo a sign he's the one.
with regards to what your dad said, i dont think that really happens, there was obviously a huge attraction there but without knowing a person how do you know you want to spend the rest of your life with them?
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I just want to address this "I just knew he/she was the one the moment I laid eyes on him/her" This is called ATTRACTION. It is not love and you do not "know" you will marry them that instant. You feel ATTRACTED and therefore the POTENTIAL for everything else is there. The vast majority of the time these things do not work out and therefore we discard as inacurate or, more likely, conveniently forget, that initial feeling of "this is the one!!!". However, when we do finally find the person that we stay with, we look back at the initial meeting, the initial attraction, and remember that feeling and attribute it to our eventual success. "I knew it from the beginning!" If you have 3 successive relationships where you have that "knowledge" right at the beginning, but the first 2 dont work out so you "forget" that you felt that way initially and the third one actually does work out is no testament to the destiny of your love or the greatness and uniqueness of your love.
Now, not all relationships begin that way so just because you do not have that feeling does not in any way mean that the relationship is doomed or in any way inferior. Many relationships take time to build and for that love to develope. But just because there is an initial, physical attration, does not mean you we destined to be together either.
Sorry to be so cynical, but it is something that just really bugs me.
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A
male
reader, planepocket +, writes (20 February 2009):
I knew from the moment I saw her.As I learned more about her the more I felt she was the one.I loved her first and then found out she was perfect.
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A
male
reader, Kevin33 +, writes (20 February 2009):
Well you have definitely asked this question at the right time lol. Ive got a story for you. I am almost in the same position as you, yet its been quite hard for me to accept it. I am now 23 and she is 21. We were together for 5 years. High-school sweethearts and first everything. I understand that your first love is always the hardest and some people say that this never lasts. Well in the later years in high-school I never had a girlfriend. Not knowing love or just having flings was a norm for most; still young and free. Sitting everyday for lunch in a large cafeteria with hundreds of people I would always notice this one girl. I only noticed her when she was wearing a specific sweater lol weird. I payed no attention to it to pursue it further. Over and over, I she would catch my eye. Near the end of grade 12 I became down knowing that at prom I would not have date. It was hard seeing everyone pair up, I was very close to not going. One day my best friends sent me a message in class saying there was someone who liked me and wanted to meet me. At the time he was dating a girl and it happened to be one of her friends. I added her to my list at home, started talking and I saw a picture. It happened to be the girl I always noticed yet did not pursue. She called me the next day! she asked me to go to a music banquet, my first meeting. It was amazing, I then took her to the movies where the chemistry that night was unbelievable. I asked her out and she said yes. Prom was amazing. We have been through every transition now together from high school, colleges, and careers. We had been together for the past 5 years. Very few last this long. I became soo close with her family and our like turned into a very strong love. We fit so perfectly with each other. All of a sudden a few weeks ago she decided that she was still young and felt like our relationship was a routine. She obviously did not have these strong feelings near the end. She wanted to see what else was out there because she did not want to regret this later in life. We met up last week for a coffee and spoke about it. She grabbed my hands, out hearts beating fast and told me how much she loved and misses me yet has to do this. She started to cry. I asked her two question: Was it true? and she said yes, I asked her: Were you happy until the very end, and she said definitely. I treated her and her family with utmost respect. My love grew each day. She has now started to date another who is very different from me. I do not know if that will last but I know for a fact she met him in the past week. It is very hard for me to hear this, and don't know how she could do it. Everyone is shocked. I miss her so, and will wait for her as long as I can. I will be open but will not put my life on hold, if something comes along I will pursue it. I thought she was the "one" and still do. I hope that one day fate will help our paths cross again. After everything she is doing, I still love her. I just don't know why she would ruin a bond so special between us being out first everything. People always say that everyone thinks their first is their last. Well in this case it's different. 5 Years is a very long time, and I was ready and happy to spend my life with her. I am a better person to have known her and do not regret anything. The best years of my life were with her by my side. I cant believe I'm saying this: No matter what happens I want her to be happy, whether it be with me or someone else. I will live a happier life if I know she has what she wants. No matter how hard she tries, it will not be possible to erase or compare our memories and love to another. I will remember it all forever. Thanks!Kevin
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A
female
reader, Kimberle +, writes (20 February 2009):
I am getting ready to be 30..and I found my true love when I was 17. We are not together and havent been for 4 yrs. We have 2 children together so we still talk...about them. We broke up after 9 years because we were both kids when we met..then we had children..we never had a chance to find our identities. I am currently dating a GREAT man who is very successful..and I love dearly. However the love I have for the father of my 2 children..is something I can not put into words to you!! I know 100% HE is my true love..to this day I have realized I will never share a love like we shared. So yes you can find true love at any age..and yes you will know it. Maybe not right away cause it took me a while..but you will realize one day..you knew all along. To me Love is a gift from God and if you do not put him in the middle .. Its not likely to survive. As far as feelings... when I am around me ex I feel comepletly at peace, He is the one person who knows exactly what to say when Im having a bad day. He knows how I feel sometimes before I do. And I trust him..when I look at him I still want to make out with him like I did when I was 17.(ANd I dont like kissing..except him)Just because you are in love doesnt mean you wont have problems...and just because your guy isnt ready doesnt mean its not real. Men mature alot slower that women..so if your feeling very strong about this man ... there could be many reasons he says he is not ready!! Maybe he wants to wait to give you both time to grow, or maybe he is really scared..because he DOES feel the same as you and doesnt know what to do. Or maybe he just needs time. I wish I could tell you a straight answer..but Im sure if you asked your father he would agree Love keeps suprising you and you will never truly understand it fully!! GOOD LUCK TO YA
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