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How close can friends of the opposite sex be?

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Question - (2 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Guys please,

My best friend is a man in his mid-forties (I am in my mid-fifties and a trained nurse), we are not romantically involved (even though I would like to be), but my friend talks to me about everything, I mean everything. He has a few health issues right now and is waiting for an operation, and tonight on the phone he tells me how his bowels are, when he can and cannot poo, that he had wind that relieved his pain. I am talking about an International businessman here, though he has a strong 'feminine' side he is not gay.

When he does this he does not seem to be getting turned on or suggestive (in fact I wish he did, but he has a woman he is in love with in a long distance relationship many years my junior).

I am just interested to know how much personal stuff would you confide in your best friend of the opposite sex?

Our conversations are amazingly relaxed and we chat about childbirth, erections, women's stuff, men's stuff, and primarily when he has and has not 'been'.

What do you make of it?

Do you think it is just really nice we are that close, do you think it is strange?

View related questions: best friend, erection, long distance

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A female reader, 48years  +, writes (3 January 2009):

48years agony auntThe woman he is in love with is a red flag if you have any hope of a romance, leave it alone!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI don't see it as being strange at all. I grew up with more male friends the female friends. Mostly cause I was into every sport out there and because I just didn't really get the whole clique thing. Some of my male friends I have known since we were Kindergarteners so that is 30+ years.

My best male friends married my best female friend and him and I still talk about everything. Though nothing about bowel movements (lol) but just about anything else. Same with his wife and I. It's always been that way for us so it's nothing unusual.

He might not be able to talk to the GF in the same way so he really enjoys being able to do that with you.

I'd enjoy it but not stop you from finding someone for you.

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A female reader, salvadda Canada +, writes (3 January 2009):

salvadda agony auntBelieve it or not, men also need to talk about such that as you wrote about. Hubby and I have had the same conversations, but not the beginning of relationship. When you have been together or known someone for a long time you also become friends. *trusted friends* both of you know that what you say will go no further. I don't think it strange at all. Most women talk about everything together. If this man feels close/comfortable with you it's not a bad thing. You don't have to be gay to feel enough to trust someone. All this closeness might might be the reason why you feel attracted to him also. If he is talking to about these things it might mean he can't talk with the person he is involved with regarding such matters. I'm sure your intelligent enough to know where you stand.

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A female reader, OSCARS MUMMY United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2009):

OSCARS MUMMY agony aunti think you can be that close with a man or a woman, the good thing about being close friend with a man is that they can give us an insight into how mens minds work and what they want. Most women would kill for a friend like him, i think you have to accept the fact you will always be just friends but just be happy in the fact that the guy you think is wonderful thinks you are pretty wonderful too x

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