A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I bet you've heard this one before: His parents don't like me. However, my case is VERY different. Here's how:Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and a half live in the U.S. And his parents live in Eastern Europe. So far I've tried everything to make them like me but it's just not happening. The 1st time we met (in their home) I dressed nicely (no short skirts, too much make-up or high heels.) I brought them presents (Godiva chocolate and Veuve champagne.) I made sure I wasn't "all over their son" but was saying nice things about him to show that I care. And so on. They asked me about every little aspect of my life. They even made sure to ask how much money my parents have and if I want to have kids soon. Later on they just told him that they don't like me (but kept inviting me over anyway?!) They then offered him $100,000 to leave me for good. Then we came back in the U.S. and continued living normally. They hate how my bf gets along with my family who spend most of their time here too. His parents even went to a gypsy "psychic", showed her my picture and asked her to cast a spell on me to ruin our relationship. They are blowing their hate out of proportion. By the time we met for the 1st time they had already heard "bad things" from his younger brother Robert (who is extremely rude and obnoxious.) He had nothing nice to say and I think that's why both parents turned against me too. I think Robert didn't like the fact that his brother had a girlfriend and he had never dated or slept with anyone (he was 26!) Now he has a girlfriend too. She is pretentious and fake. The gypsy idea was hers. My family thinks she's an Eastern European gold digger. However his parents obviously like her - they have the nicest things to say about her. They even bought them a house last week?! I don't care about the house or anything material from them. Things are getting worse as his parents are continuously saying how I am "no good" for him. I don't understand why though. I am 22 - I come from a good (wealthy) family. I am to graduate from my bachelors in a couple of months. I am headed to law school. And yet they say they will never accept me. Family is a big deal for me and I always imagined that when I get married my family will come in close relations with my husband's. Now I realize this can't happen. Me and my bf have talked about getting married in the future but I don't see how this is going to work out. He is always defending me, but I wonder how much more I can take from these people.
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female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (11 October 2009):
 Well, if you truly love him, you can try to work around his cruel parents. If nothing you do is good enough for them, then just stop trying to impress them.
I understand that family is important to you, but it doesn't have to be a huge deal. Whatever way this goes, your future kids will still have a grandma and grandpa. Just because there isn't 2 sets of grandparents in the picture doesn't make it any less of a family.
Don't try to live up to their expectations. It's your life, and you can't please everyone, no matter how much you'd like to.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 October 2009):
so long as you are both happy, that's all the matters. However, it sounds like you need to really sit down and speak to yoour boyfriend about how this relationship can go on like it is. It will be extremely difficult for you to continue if they are nasty to you, because you will end up really resenting them and then resenting your boyfriend. Talk to him, maybe even talk to them and ask them why they dislike you so much. But if this continues, you may really need to consider this relationship.
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