A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my wife have always had a really active and healthy sex life but at the same time we also have two kids, one at 17yrs old and another at 3 yrs old. We have always felt abit awkward having sex with them there but when it was just our 17yr old as she got older it didn't seemed to bother us but its not just the fact our youngest is growing up its in general we just feel awkward of them knowing it, my wife has always been really shy anyway when it comes to sex and her body. We don't have a lock on the bedroom door as we have always said we would never have one and don't want one. Is it normal to feel liek this and how can we get around it, we don't exactualy want them to know that we are having sex and we do on a regular basis. We've tried waiting until our eldest goes to her mates for the night and the youngest can go to her mums or something but thats just to hard. Its very hard thing to resist for us as we normally do it about 3 times a week when its not her time of the month. What can we do to solve this?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 "Parent Poon" ha ha hee, Penta!
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I used to listen to a morning radio program that had a "game" they called "Parent Poon." The object was to tell the last time you think your parents had sex, then they would call and ask. If the caller got it right, they got a prize.What was funny to me was that EVERYONE always thought it was "last month sometime" or "last year," and it was almost always "last night" or "two nights ago." Parents have sex. And it's healthy for older kids to know that it goes on (not to see or hear it, just know that it happens). It's nice to see that your parents are still sweet on each other, and it helps kids to look for that kind of relationship for themselves.In my house we just wait until kids are asleep, or at gramas, or something. In my parents' house, if the door was closed it was CLOSED. When my kids are old enough (they're only 2 and 3 now) we're going to have the same rule. ... well, maybe after reading this, we'll get a lock, lol.BTW, I listen to Public Radio now, lol.
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A
male
reader, rugbynutter +, writes (4 September 2007):
We have a 3 year old and also had a 23 yr old staying with us (my fiancees youger daughter). So I can sympathise with your scenario.
We wait and take our opportunities as and when they arise. When jnr is asleep, perhaps a day off work, an evening out for a meal etc.
We dont have a lock for the door and I wouldnt even suggest such a thing.
There is always a time when you can or cannot have intimacy together...just keep your ears open and one eye on the door..haha
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 September 2007):
What's the big deal about getting a lock for your bedroom door? It's a great idea! You can leave it unlocked all but 3 times a week but it will save a lot of embarrassment those 3 times a week! Go get one maybe you can start locking it 4 or 5 times a week!
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Im with hlskitten,
Get a lock! Tell them they must knock when your door is closed. Thats just basic respect for another persons space. Obviously thats a little harder on the 3yr old so maybe waiting till afer they are sleeping is better. Putting music on is good too. Also make sure your bed is not all creaky and banging the on the wall. I used to shove a pillow behind the headboard to stop that!
It is awkward when kids are in the house but try to "rise to the challenge" as it were and get creative. You can have sex every day if you are willing to adjust how and when.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi
Foot up against the door! hehe no i know what you mean, a lot of us have been there!
I dont know. We had to wait til they were asleep and even then we got caught out by my 10 yr old once. Was rather embarrassing and i think it scared her actually. Had some explaining to do there.
But i'm single now so i dont have that problem.
In the future i have no idea what will happen especially when they go to bed much later as they get older!
I personally would get a lock though. I cant remember who told me that before but it was a responsible adult! Might of even been my mum. Theres nothing wrong with having a lock, and maybe if you can, some music on?
I read that somewhere when someone asked a similar question in a magazine. It also said about stressing to youngsters that they dont just walk in your bedroom, they learn to knock first.
Other than that i dont know!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): It's sweet you and your partner care about what your children think. The worse thing for anybody to hear is their parents having sex! so I don't understand why you can't do it when the 17yr old out or at college. The 3yr old is less likely to hear the sounds or realise what they mean
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