A
female
age
36-40,
*itKite87
writes:My friend is smitten with someone who cares only for herself. It's pretty clear to me that her girlfriend is a narcissistic con-artist but somehow she doesn't see it. My friend does have low-self esteem, but her girl is rude to her, rude to her friends, never pays for anything, and always has to be treated like loyalty. Most of the (rare) loving things she says to my friend sound like she is being sarcastic and manipulative. It's almost like she is a bad con artist taking my friend for all she has, but my friend loves it! So I wonder, can you truly be in love with someone like that? What attracts my friend to this woman? What attracts people to selfish rude mates?! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KitKite87 +, writes (9 June 2010):
KitKite87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I haven't. That would be somebody else. I actually have a boyfriend who I love, but it makes me sick to see my friend treated like this!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 June 2010):
Low self esteem is all it takes. 99% of women and men who go out with second rate partners all suffer from low self esteem. They either think that the other person is the best they can do. Or they suffer from the delusion that 'things will change for the better'. Imagine that you're feeling low about yourself. The one day someone comes to you and says you're beautiful. You don't care that they say it sarcastically, or that they're taking advantage. The point is they said it, and it made you feel good. And you look for it again, and again. No matter what.
That's what's happened to your friend. She is blocking everything out because someone has just said that she's cared for. Just be there with the box of tissues for when it goes wrong. That's all you can do.
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