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How can she like him after he held a knife to her throat?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2009)
A male Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey i like this girl and we get along rly well we went out a couple of times and than her ex bf comes back along and she now only wants to be friends now that doesnt rly bother me as shit happens what i want to know is how can she still like him after he had a knife to her throat and made her do things she didnt want to its just something i cant understand and would really like to know

thanks

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A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (30 August 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntBeing human means being stupid. Scientists are hard at work as we speak, trying to figure out how the human brain works, and why people do the things they do. Love is blind. And deaf. But if you keep in mind that there are people out there that will kill in the name of God, it might be easier to understand why this girl still wants to be with this guy. People find ways of justifying in their mind so many stupid things that they do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009):

Hey thanks for all the help i guess i kinda get what yous are sayin but i guess its just one of those things i wont fully grasp. I guess ill just stay friends with her incase she gets hurt again so that she has someone there for her.

thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009):

I know a girl who stabbed her boyfriend. (This is what happens when you do hard drugs) Thankfully he lived, but they still remain together.. I never got it. I always ask him, why he is still with her, and he says, cause I love her and I'm like, how can you love somebody that stabs you? but I guess love knows no boundries.. sorry I cant be more of help to you. I never really got it myself.

Good luck

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A male reader, Ifyoudontmind United States +, writes (29 August 2009):

Girls go back to the bad situation because of the maternal instinct. The want to change or to help them. Its even worse when the are in love.

You know what I mean. The girl with the drunk, the girl with the hitter, the girl with the cheater... the list goes on. They stick around because that little bit of progress.

"Hes not bad when he is sober!"

Its that tiny shred of hope that keeps them trying to hold on. It never gets better, and the poor girl, eternally jaded by this emotional sucker punch..

You have to kind of .. allow your girl to realize what she is doing isnt beneficial. But you cant tell her

"dont!"

It will just piss her off, and she will do it anyway. But if you sort of encourage her. Like

"what does this guy do for you" kind of thing, it may help.

Hopefully this helps.

-iydm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009):

I see this happen a lot. I've known people in my life who have had partners treat them terribly...but they always go back to them. I often want to scream "why?".

Some people do get dependent on other people. It happens, and no matter what that person does, they take them back. I struggle to understand it myself, but then that's just me. I do think though that everyone has a breaking point, a point where they just think, "no more". Maybe this girl hasn't reached that point yet.

I am sorry she only wants to be friends now that her ex is back in the picture. That must have hurt. Maybe if you stay a friend to her, she will realise that she will be treated better by you than by her ex? It is hard to say.

I guess it is up to you now whether you stay friends with her or not. If it is too difficult though, then that is fair enough. It can't be an easy situation. So do what you feel is best for both of you. Good luck. x

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2009):

hlskitten agony auntBecause she is attracted to the bad boys. Is almost used to the rollercoaster ride of a volitile relationship. Her past? Was she treated pretty crud by her family? Does she actually no any better?

Does she feel she deserves any better?

I wonder how her dad/step father treated her mum?

She would be what we call damaged goods though. So in an ideal world you would be better off finding a decent girl, that likes to be treated decent.

Would certainly be a better odds of a long lasting relationship.

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