A
male
age
30-35,
*ardyaus
writes:Ive been going out with a girl for about 1 and a half months, not that long, but we have been friends before this and it seems recently that she just doesn't take me seriously at all.This started about the time we hit 1 month, she acts as if my considerations don't care, i try to organise stuff but she is always "busy" and we live close by, it's like a long distance relationship, i hardly see her.Worst part is, when she says that, she said "you'll live" when she said we wont be seeing eachother for about a month, and she basically laughed it off like it didn't matter.I tell her i love her but she never belives in it until people are in the 20's but she uses it alot saying it to other boys in a band she is obssessed with and she mentions it to me, it just feels like one big joke.I feel like im about to get dumped or just for the whole time not given a shit about and ignored just about everytime, she even accused me of being clingy, how the hell can i be clingy when we don't meet often enough for me to cling?I wan't to ask her if we should end it or not and if she actually cares about me because right now it doesn't seem like she does, but i don't want to upset her by confronting her about it, right now im just going with the flow, but i don't know how long i can ignore the signs that i feel like im just "there" but not "there".
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male
reader, wardyaus +, writes (9 October 2009):
wardyaus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the feedback, really apreciated.
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 You think more of this relationship than she does. You look at your relationship with more serious intent, she looks at it with more casualness. She also said that she doesn't really believe in love until you hit your twenties. (Which personally I think is b.s. because people mature at different rates - some kids' lives make them grow up really fast) But anyway, based on how she acts and what she has told you, you need to not invest too much emotion into this relationship, at this point in your lives, because you are going to get your heart broken. This is very plain to see.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 Maybe she means too clingy by calling/e-mailing her a lot?
Regardless this isn't a healthy relationship. She is not giving you the time or attention you deserve. To make matters worst she doesn't believe you when you tell her she loves you, which makes me think she doesn't love you herself. (I could be completely wrong.) Not to mention that she is more affectionate over a boy band then her boyfriend.
You need to have a serious talk with her and try to work things out. If you are not able to solve things then I would reconsider your relationship with her.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): well it sounds to me like you guys were better as friends. starting a serious relationship wasnt such a good idea. you should just talk to her about it and just start out as friends again and go from there. but take it slow and easy. for the clingy think idk what is up with that, but she might be covering up something. but dont do anything that you will regret in the future.
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A
male
reader, FrequentFlyer +, writes (9 October 2009):
 When I was around your age I did the exact same similar things. Do you call or text her more than 5 or 6 times a week? do you show that the only thing that matters in your life right now is her? these are things you might think are healthy for a relationship and what girls want but in reality, aren't really. lay it low, and only contact her every so often. When you do contact her, make sure you have some interesting stories to tell and definietely listen to hers. Cut in half the amount of times you say "I love you" to her and only say them at appropriate times. If she isn't keen on the whole "love" thing just yet, then hold it back completely until you know she feels the same way about you. Look at how you both used to be when you were friends. That is more or less what she liked about you. Be more like the friend that you were instead of the more open person you are now about your feelings and things just might turn out for the better for you and her. It's hard, but it helps.
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