A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 28. I have the feeling my boyfriend is cheating on me with his ex. (she is my age). I know his ex, she was once friends with my older sister and she can be very intimadating and very sneeky. When I look through his cell phone every once in a while (I know it's not right but I feel like he's hiding something) I tend to notice that he still talks to his ex. I know he "hangs out" with her every now and then.. I really like him but he claims he don't talk to her and that he loves me. How can I convince him to stop seeing/talking to her without him getting pissed off at me? What should I do?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Doesn't it require tons more effort, not to mention time, to capitalize the first letter of each word in a sentence? It's hard on the eyes...who would be me.
A
female
reader, Potataa +, writes (14 July 2011):
I'm In The Same Situation But Im Younger And My Bf Is A Year Older. But He Talks To His Ex Girlfriend I Know She Lives In Texas But He Is Supposedly Going Back Their Next Month And Im Not Sure Tht I Want Him To Go Because If Wht They Say To Eachother In Facebook! Today I Plan On Just Straight Up Telling Him " Baby I Love You But I Stopped Talking To My Exes And Its Only Fair Tht If You Love Me The Way You Say You Do Then You Would Stop Talking To Her ! And If You Dont Im Gonna Break Up With You & Ill Mean It ! " Thats What Im Telling Mine. But I Am Really Blunt So Thats Just Gonna Have To Be It ! :)
- Just A Seggestion For You :)
Good Luuck !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): tell your boy friend to stop talking to your ex i know your hiding something tell me what your hiding i know it might be a little to harsh but do what you have to do
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A
female
reader, baileygirl123 +, writes (30 December 2009):
i know what you mean been there and this is how i handled it i said this is so stupid i am sick of this crap and he said i dont care and i said then we are though and if you really love me then show me then i left his house cause i saw messages to on his phone so thats how i handled it i hope it works out.
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (6 January 2009):
 If your boyfriend is in contact with his ex after you told him how you felt, it is obvious he still have some form of feelings for her. He doesn't respect your feelings, you and most of all, the realtionship.
I believe you know what to do, it is a matter of doing it.
Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (6 January 2009):
 You need to either learn to live with him talking to her or move on. It seems like they are good friends and he obviously has no plans on giving her up just because it upsets you. So decide now what you want to do. You can give ultimatums but I don't think that will get you anywhere. Basically he has a right to talk to whomever he wants to and doesn't care too much whether it bothers you or not. I doubt I would be able to handle it because I can get pretty jealous but maybe you can? Since you told him it bothers you and he isn't stopping then there is nothing you can do in my opinion. You can't convince him. You told him it upsets you and the next night he went out with her... So you date this guy and she comes along with it. Only you can make the decision if you still want to be with him or not. I wouldn't but that's just me. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, i have already admitted to telling him that i have gone throw his cell phone and he has watched/been there while i have done it. I have also told him how i feel about him seeing and talking to his ex and he still pland on seeing her the next next day after the night i had told him. I also recently found out from a close friend of the two of ours that he had breakfest with her one morning n she told me a week afterwords when they had gotten into a lil fight n he admitted to it and when i asked him if he was even going to ever bother telling me he said no?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): leave him and don't call not one bit and he will be wandering what you are doing and most likely get back with you
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (6 January 2009):
I can understand why you want him to not talk and see his ex. I think generally everyone gets atleast a bit jealous if there bf/gf still has some contact with their ex.
And I understand it must be even harder for you to deal with him seeing his ex as you feel that hes cheating on you with her. I am wondering though, why makes you actually think hes cheating on you with her? Is it what the text messages say? Him lying about not seeing her when you clearly know he is???
In my opinion, if he has nothing to hide, then he wouldnt lie about not talking/seeing her. However, I guess it is possible that he just didnt want to make you jealous, so he could be innocent, but from personal experience, most times he would be hiding something.
I think, no matter whether he is actually cheating on you or not, you do need to raise the issue of him having contact with her. I wouldnt say you think hes cheating, not yet anyways until you have more 'evidence'- such as a really suspicous text message or something. If you tell him it just makes you feel uncomfortable that he talks to and sees her etc, hopefully he will understand.
However, if he is already lieing about seeing her, there is a high possibility he will pretend to understand your feelings, promise not to see her, then just go behind your back. So thats something you have to consider too. Do you really want to be with a guy who is lieing to you?
I thikn you will have to tell him you have read some of his texts because without that, he will be able to lie and deny contacting her. You could at first just ask him straight out if he talks/sees her, that way you are giving him a chance to be honest and tell you, and if he says no, then bring up the texts. He will most likely try and shift the attention to you 'invading his privacy', so be aware of that and dont let him do that. If he is innocent then he shoudlnt care that you went through his phone! Hope this has helped :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): You can threaten to leave him, but only if you are ready to follow through. You would have to admit you looked through his phone records, and he probably will get pissed off at you.
I don't know what else you can do, maybe someone on this site can come up with something. But all I can say is either you confront him or you don't! What other choice is there???
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