A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im 20. ok i know this question gets asked alot recently but im not sure what to do. I dont know whether im in love or not and i know everyone says that when ur in love "you just know", but i feel like i am now but ive felt like this in the past and then afterwards ive realised i wasnt in love. what should i do? how can i tell if this time i really am in love or is it is just like before?? i dont want to say yes i am definately in love and to commit just to realise 2 months down the line i wasnt againxxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LittleTwoLegs  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Love comes in many faces. Every person is different, and which each individual in the world you take on a seperate roll than with anyone else, even with lovers. If you feel like you love a person and genuinely enjoy who they are, what they're about and everything that comes with it...? Welp, accept the feeling for what it is! As far as being "in" love...it sounds like that's the part that's giving you pressure. So for now just drop in "in" part and think of it more generally: love. Every love is different, and once you learn how this love is unique (which takes time) you will then see it for what it does or does not blossom into.Best wishes
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 April 2007):
 If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Eve
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