A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me and he says he needs time to get him life together and finances. He is broke and struggling to make ends meet. He says it wouldn't be fair to me for us to stay together because he can't put all the effort in a relationship. It's been two weeks and we still have contact and see each other on occasion. Of course I want to be there and help him and support him. Am I wasting my time with him or should I move on? I do love him and miss him terribly, but I don't want to waste my time on something that is not going anywhere. And we aren't having sex so I know he's not using me for that. How can I tell if it's completely over?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 It is over.
I doubt there are around many men so chivalrous and unselfish to give up a relationship they really care about because personal concerns prevent them from putting all their effort into the relationship. What happens commonly is,in fact, if they have troubles ( money,work,health, whatever ) they are very glad to have someone for moral and practical support and to share their concerns with.
Beides,if all the people who are struggling for money and have a hard time making ends meet right now,in this present adverse economical condition , should give up dating- there would be an entire world of singles !
It's just one of those things that people say because it sounds nicer than just "Sorry , it's over ".
Your best bet is moving on.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 June 2010):
I think right now, this is over. He needs to get his own life in order by himself, and you waiting around will make this more difficult for you both. Time to let go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I`ve been there (your man`s position). Somethimes it`s hard to combine things, I`ve felt like: god all those things to do, all those troubles, I just don`t want anyone to be around me. Nevertheless love and caring and all things that come in a relationship need a lot of energy and thought put into them. Sometimes you just can`t. That doesn`t mean he`s indifferent about you, it means that right at this moment his mind is on other things. Give it time if you really think he`s worth it. If not draw the line. Because it may change, it may not, it may be soon, it may not be... people are as same, as they are different you can never tell. For example i like to face my troubles alone, bring someone with me-just more trouble. Other need the support and love and comforting of their half to feel secure and able to succeed. I think the best choice is to confront him and ask him directly and give him time to THINK IT OVER, and tell you how he would like it to be. Because otherwise it`s just long, agonizing insecurity and pain. I personally can`t deal with this, so i want things settled right here and now.
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