A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I keep feeling a bit depressed.. my bf and I have been together nearly 2 years, I love him and I know how he feels about me but he seems to treat me like one of his mates rather than a gf. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be treated technically but I feel like I'm second to his mates although he denied it. We see each other about every other day but it's normally late so it doesn't feel like we ever spend quality time together. He is skint at the moment so we can't go out a lot and I feel like we aren't moving anywhere, when I recently went round there upset I blurted out that I had thought about moving in but he likes living with his mates and said "that doesn't mean I won't in the future.." I keep thinking all these nagative thoughts like I may have wasted 2 years of my life, how can I stop the negative thoughts and just be happy...?
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female
reader, shiraz +, writes (10 January 2009):
firstly you have to stop thing of all of his faults picking at little things evntually develop into this huge situaion causing more problems. everybody has good and bad features in your post you didnt mention one of his! he cannot be perfect! but i respect the problems you raised and agree with you on some. if he is treating you like a mate and youve told him and still no change then be how he is with you the same back and then why he asks the change just say its how i feel, i love you but i dont feel you love me when you act like this i feel like im nothing to you. tell him exactally how your feeling and how it hurts you. he willl deniy it as he cannot see the difference, be careful dont force him the oppisite way be honest but not too blunt with him.rather than having set times and a routine for seeing each other be spontaneous , surprise him when hes least expecting you or ask him to do the same. dont stay stuck doing the same thing, moneys tight but spending that quality time costs nothing (i sound like an advert lol) . i think he likes you but he wont make the serious steps as he doesnt think hes there yet, dont push him it has to come natural to him and in his time if you cant wait for him (which is understndable) you should leave now, however dont jump to soon you say you love this guy, enough to wait? im not sayin hault your life for him im simply saying give him descions too. you both need more independance and to become less reliable of each other. maybe time apart will help you both, you can both go back into the relationship with a clear head on where your next direction is. everyone deserves to know where they stand and if your not getting that thebn theres a problem.
dont think youve wasted your life, if you live like that you will never move forward, nobody can turn back the clock we only have the future. that is something you can change and learn from the past for your future! i think you need a bit of you time to make you happier ibn and out of your relationship, we all have to make sacrifices and you always have options so dont feel like theres no way out. rather than thinking negatives think positive, about your relationship, your life and your personality you as a person its vital you keep a balance of them all in order to make progress in each, wichi think is what you need most right now. best of luck i hope it all works out xxx
A
male
reader, planepocket  +, writes (10 January 2009):
As soon as you start to think negativly think of something else or do something to keep your mind off of it and you will break the habit of negative thinking.
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