A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eleven months now, and I really can't help but notice he can really be a selfish guy when he feels like it. Namely, I'm talking about our sex life. When we met I was a virgin. Before we started having actual sex he would always touch me (and by me I mean my vagina) without my even asking, he expressed a strong desire to please me, hell he even went down on me once, and I reciprocated. Now that we've started having intercourse it's different. I feel like I'm constantly jumping through sexual hoops for him while he does nothing. He won't go down on me, he won't finger me, and despite me telling him how very much I like my clit touched and asking him to at least four times, he doesn't do that voluntarily either. He pressures me to let him go condomless (I'm on the pill) since they make it hard for him to orgasm sometimes, and when I say no to that we get into huge fights that end in me reluctantly submitting to anal instead to reduce the risk of pregnancy, which I hate because it's painful and uncomfortable and it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand why it's so important that he gets off every time even if it causes me pain...he's never gotten me off once.It's not a communication issue. He knows I want orgasms, he knows I don't like anal. I don't understand, I feel like I'm servicing him. It wasn't like this before I gave up my virginity. Are all guys like this? He's the only one I've ever been with.
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condom, orgasm, sex life, the pill, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 What you need is true vision abut sex...moral and intellectual also. see it is here...
1.First thing is about selfishness. Sexual activity is most selfish activity amongst others. Sex cannot perform in a form of charity. It is always selfish.
2.But, good thing about 'selfishness' is that this 'self' has universal nature. It present in all being. So, there exists 'Universal vision' which is required to be cognized and to be communicated.
3.There is no truth in saying that all males are selfish or conversely females. Such are racial statements, and not wise statement. Say, 'sexual activity' by itself is 'selfish' and this is the reason why one should know about 'self', and its essence 'spirit'.
4 You are too young for this materials, but certainly it will help to find out right direction, which will make your sex life more and more pleasurable.
4.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Wow that's totally unbelievable! What a selfish pig. If you've already talked this into the ground you may simply have to leave. Here's what you should do the next time he wants sex. Give him a little taste of the goods but before he finishes, just tell him you have needs and go masturbate to orgasm in front of him and then tell him you're simply too spent to bother with him. If you kept that up he'd probably fold. If not, find someone more worthy. My guy has trouble finishing if I haven't finished first and spends a lot of extra time tending to my needs. Sometimes he spends to long on me he's too tired to finish himself. So no, not all guys are selfish in bed.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Get rid right away.
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A
male
reader, Tirekyll  +, writes (16 December 2009):
I would get away from him, I personally, speaking as a guy, would love nothing more than for my girl to have an orgasm at least once(preferably more) during intercourse. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and even in pain, he should respect you enough to not do it and to be as eager to please you as you are him.
Oh yeah, why the hell does he want to get off so fast? I'd prefer the joy of being with the love of my life to last as long as I could possibly have it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): Absolutely not. Your boyfriend is being a straight up ass. If he knows all these things about what you like and don't like and is still not trying to please you, he is definitely being selfish. My boyfriend goes out of his way to make sure that i cum before he does. Also, even if you are on the pill you should still wear a condom, and it sounds like you want to. Your boyfriend is lying when he says that it's hard to cum with them on. It does cut down some of the sensation for them, but not so much that they can't orgasm. Sex takes two, and both you and him deserve to enjoy it. You need to have a serious talk with him about it before you have sex, not during. If he doesn't compromise cut sex out or down until he gives you what you need. If that doesn't work, you should consider dating someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): I've had a similar problem with my recent ex.. We dated for ten months & the first several months he was always pleasuring me even if I didn't pleasure him..but then lately all he was concerned about was me giving him oral sex and it got soooo annoying..and anytime he would want to not waer the rain coat and I said no he would want to do anal but I never gave in cuz its painful and uncomfortable..so then he would give in and wear a condom.. You just have to talk to him & tell him how he doesn't pleasure u enough & u don't like anal.. And if that doesn't work then u need to find someone who is more understanding because no they aren't all like that..I know getting past ur first is sometimes hard to do but sometimes its what u need to do
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 December 2009):
 No, they are not all like that. RUN! Far far away! You've done your best and he's not going to change. Run!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 December 2009):
God almighty, he's really something else isn't he. No, not all men are this bad. Some of use work very hard! Ban him from sex until he does what you need him too, or think about finding someone else who won't treat you like an object.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 To answer your question blunty, No, not all men are like that and Yes, he does sound like a selfish pig.
Tell him if he is'nt interested in love making but only in getting his rocks off he can go pay for the service, because your playground is closed for the duration.
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A
male
reader, bmxbandit +, writes (15 December 2009):
hey iv just read ur post and he does sound really selfish i think you should say to him that before we have sex i want you to do this and untill he does what you want him to do dont have sex with him or you could finish it with him and find someone else that you like
hope that helped you
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