A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi. my ex girlfriend keeps asking me for money for fags and food because i live at home and have no bills to pay and she has her own place with bills and rent but isnt working, she on benefits. she is an ex who i have never lived with and wasnt together long, about 5 months. i am sick of her texting me wanting to meet up and asking for money for food and fags. i gave her money when i was with her but we no longer together due to her asking me for things all the time and other reasons. i dont want her as a friend or to have contact what so ever and she keeps asking to meet up. im not nasty to her, i reply and say sorry i cant im busy and what ever i say she tells me im lied to her. she says you have lied your not busy.
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ex girlfriend, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Quit replyin. As soon as she sends a text, delete it and move on. Don't answer the phone if she calls. If she leaves a voicemail, delete it too. If she knocks on your door, don't open it. It's pretty simple. You can't stop her from bugging you but as long as you reply to her (even if you say No) she still has her foot in the door. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Pretty soon she'll stop.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012): thank you everyone, good advice and yes i shall ignore her and always say no you cant have any money. i am 2 soft but wont be anymore. cheers everyone.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012): Cut all contact with her. She is using you. Don't respond to her texts or calls. It is none of her business whether you are busy or whatever. She is taking advantage of your good nature. Get real and be strong.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 If you don't come through with the cash, a few times, she might stop..... OF course, that means that you will already be a few bucks ahead.... AND you will get MORE bucks ahead as you refuse to give her cash more and more times!!!!
How difficult is THIS?????
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012): "im not nasty to her"
That's right, you're just being a flaky, soft touch instead.
Has this "niceness" worked for you? No, well time to tell her the truth.
"No thanks I'm not interested in meeting you."
"No you can't have money."
How hard is that?
Is it nasty to be truthful? No OP, it's nasty to lead her on the way you are because you don't have the balls to set her straight.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 She's not going to stop asking until you ignore her. When she texts you don't reply to them. It will take a while but she will eventually stop. An easier way to do this is to block her number so you don't get her texts in the first place.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Tell her no over and over, she will get tired of that and find someone else to use.
Or.. change your phone number.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (11 August 2012):
If you reply, regardless of what you actually write, she’s going to keep contacting you and pestering you for money, which of course you shouldn’t give to her: she should get a job and earn her own. Call her, tell her that she’s getting no money out of you and that you want to cut all contact. After that, ignore any contact she makes, don’t bother sending any reply whatsoever, and look in to the possibility of barring her number and her access to your social networking profiles if you have them. This may become necessary if repeated attempts to make contact start to get too much for you. Chances are though, ignoring her will be enough for her to get the hint eventually.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (11 August 2012):
Just say no. That is what bank are for.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Your money is yours. What you do with your money or what you spend your money on is no one else's business but yours.
And you do not have to explain yourself. Where you go and how you spend your time is entirely up to you. You most certainly do not have to answer to her about your whereabouts. Do not even think you have to justify where you go and when you went there. That stops now. You are your own person. She has no right to comment on how you spend your free time.
Make sure your family know that topping up her funds to cover her expenses is stopping as of now.
Don't feel any guilt next time she asks when you reply, 'Sorry, haveing got a penny to spare this week.'
Do not debate the issue.
Say goodbye as soon as you tell her you have zilch to spare.
Keep repeating the same line for at least the next eight weeks, every time she asks for money. She will give up eventually.
Though at the moment she has no shame.
You are not a person to her. You are an ever-ready purse that you willingly open to her on command.
Stop enabling her inadequacies.
You are propping her up. While you allow her to do this she will never learn to budget.
Once she realises that you are no longer the sucker she goes to as her private Bank she will find another person who will believe her sob story.
You owe her nothing.
And get a new cell phone. Be careful who you share the number with.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 don't lie to her, don't tell her you can't because you are busy, tell her the truth, print this off and next time she contacts either text or tell her this:
I am not a charitable institution, I owe you nothing, if you can't afford to buy cigarettes give up smoking, if you can't afford to buy food, give up smoking, if you want money get off your behind and get a job. You are not my responsibility.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Sounds like she's using you.
Like you say you dont owe her anything so cut the contact; or change your number.
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