A
male
 ,
*kintooth4
writes:My girlfriend of 6 months is going through some depression. I've tried all i can to be nice and supportive but she keeps shutting me down, and snapping at me whenever I offer support or anything. She also has been very distant, it takes her hours to answer texts and she hardly talks to me any more, which is the complete opposite of how it used to be. But her depression is now starting to drag me down too... I want to help her but its making me suffer so I'm wondering what to do... Do I push through this and hope it rights itself and I don't sink into depression or do I dump her at a time when she needs people the most just to help myself from going down too??
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male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (2 June 2009):
If it were a woman asking about her husband, I could give her some insight. But I am having similar problems with my wife, and she is not the type to open up or ask for what she needs. No no!
I have learned that both men and women are very similar in certain ways. If you can pry a little information from her, you might be able to help her.
Good chance it has to do with her past. It could be because she isn't able to ask or place her finger on what she needs. I've notice many of us unless we spend a lot of time on it, don't even know what we need either, partially because we have set aside our own needs for someone else, like spouse, kids or work. We forget who we are!
One thing I've learned when she snaps at something I've done, or expects quicker action from me such as repairing something around the house, is instead of giving her the short simple answer, give her the full story, along with all the complex variables and she calms down and doesn't ask again, instead, letting you deal with it on your own terms. This response from me I have seen improvement with her. It is in the details. We conform to others demands and we allow ourselves to act without thinking, we do things too quickly and not taking time to smell the roses. We have to take time for this, otherwise, our partner begin to feel neglected, unwanted, not good enough.
You have a lot of analysis to do. Provide us some to the point details of situations, and we can then provide some hopefully good guidance to help her and make your life better.
Finally, there is PMS which shows up in women around 50 years old. This is when men are discribed to be in their mid-life-crisis. Right now, this actually sounds like the two of you. You are so heavily affect by the one you are close to and love, that her falling apart before your eyes is crushing you. If this is the case, you, as the man need to be extremely cautious that it doesn't destroy you. It is reported that most suicides happen for men during this time period.
A
female
reader, trshly +, writes (1 June 2009):
 My boyfriend of two years is doing the same to me.
I know he has to settle things on his own, so I am trying to give him as much space as possible why still reminding him I am there for him.
Also, I like to leave up tragic true stories up on the TV or computer, in hopes that seeing them will make him more thankful for what he has.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (1 June 2009):
You need to help her as well as yourself, as soon as you start to feel low you know its gone to far and you need to take a step back.
Give it space, she will miss you and then get in contact in hope of a reunion situation to give her that sense of security, let her know you will always be there but you respect that she needs space and your willing to give her this.
when shes in the right frame of mind she will respect you and how you handled the situation, you never left her you just gave her what she was craving, support yet space.
When people have issues they struggle to cope with its a lot better without pressure so let her come to you, she will when she needs you, it takes a real man to stick around in this situation so i have respect for you, not may would ride the long rollercoaster.
Your a good guy and you obviously really felt for her to stick by her in her time of need, dont let it take over your life, give her the space and live your life.
Be the support when she needs you, its difficult but i feel you could do it, best of luck
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