A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:a few months ago i broke up with my boyfriend of two years because he wasnt giving me enough attention or spending any time with me and he also hadnt called in two weeks.even though i was hurt,during the time we werent together i met other guys and started dating.i was just starting to enjoy the single-life when my ex contacted me to work things out..i agreed just to talk without getting back together,i also told him i was dating but eventually while keeping in contact i fell back in love with him.and now hes under the impression that were back together.the problem is that one guy that i was dating im having a hard time letting go of.i dont have strong feelings for him but i enjoyed the time we spent togther,and since me an my ex have been back together ive still been dating this other guy.i can see that the other guy is starting to get attached to me but i like him and i dont know if or how i should break it off...i feel like i want my relationship but yet i still want to be single at the same time because im young.There both great guys and i dont know what to do because i dont want either of them hurt,im just having a hard tme sorting through my feelings right now.i know im wrong..any advice????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): thank so much i liked all of these answers .i got needed insight from each one.Thats true i shouldnt have made myself availiable to anyone so soon no matter who pressured me.Thats right that they both fufill a need and letting one go would leave it unsatisfied.maybe i do need to let go of the past.thanks
A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (3 July 2011):
 I,d say go with the new guy,and let go of the old bf. The same things that split you up before will split you again,.gd luck!
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Though they may not knw it,you are already hurting both of them
You say u broke up with your BF for the reasons you stated above,
but it sounds to me like you broke up with him for other reasons altogthr,and your reasns are just an excuse to justify ur actions
You say u later told him that you were dating someone else,but after 'fallin back in love' with him he now assumd that the 2 of you were once again an item
...so why didnt you set the record straight regarding this new dynamic to ur relationshp??
You say u are havng a hard time letting go of the other guy though u dnt have strong feelings for him but do enjoy the time youre spending together
....youre being very contradictory in both word n action...
I think you have feelings for him but you also want to have your cake n eat it too!!
Otherwise you would have set the record straight with the ex and the new guy instead of letting him get attached n all...
YOU ARE SELFISHLY LEEDING BOTH OF THEM ON!
You said it yourself that you are young but i thnk you need to grow up!!
Why do u make excuses about wanting the relationshp back but at the same time still want to act single?...and all this to justify your contradictory or otherwise double-standards
its not that you dont know what to do for fear of hurting either coz guess what...
YOU ALREADY ARE!!
Its just that you dont want to let go of either. Each in his own special way seems to fulfil a need of yourz and letting go of either means a need may go unsatisfied
So its not really about the good advice you can receive here...but rather what sacrifices you are willing to make
Otherwise id say let 'em both go and find yourself a new guy capable of fulfiling all your needs
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