A
female
age
51-59,
*alma40
writes:my husband is accusing me of cheating on him witch i haven't. any friend that comes over to our house or from work he always telling me that i cheating on him with our close friends. when i go to work i call him 2 to 3 time in an hour beside the text messages.trying to explain to him that he is wrong and he called me a liar and he is telling me what ever he got in his mind that what it is no 1 or no explanation will change it,
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): You can't prove it.
It's simply not possible.
People cheat all the time on unsuspecting spouses, as well as suspicious and controlling spouses, regardless of the phone calls, etc.
Get professional help, or get out of the marriage.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): No matter what you say, i don't think he's ever going to get this stupid idea that you're cheating out of his head. Your husband sounds very insecure. Do you know if he's been cheated on in the past? Whatever his reasons, i think you should rethink this marriage because he obviously doesn't have very high regards towards you if he think you're capable of sleeping with other men behind his back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): You don't need to prove anything to him he needs to apologise. Hopefully what ends up being proved at the end of this is how much you deserve a better guy!
No trust = no relationship
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A
female
reader, 77  +, writes (21 November 2010):
there maybe underpinning issues here that you have not mentioned. for instance, do you have a more active social life than him. do you think that maybe you are more outgoing than him. Sometimes in certain relationships a spouse can say stuff like this to cause you to reduce your social activity, basically restricting you from having a life outside of the relationship. that way they become the centre of your world. its a cruel way to go about it, mentally manipulative to the point where you may very well stop your social life for the fear of accusations. On the other hand, is he casting his shadow over your, do you always know of his whereabouts. It has been known that when a spouse is accusing another of having affairs, they themselves are the guilty ones. Nevertheless i agree with Blonde30s, without trust what basis is there left for a relationship, it only serves to make you more both more miserable everyday.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 It sounds as though you have already done all you can do. It was a noble effort but he is stubborn. You have to begin wondering why you are with someone who is too willing to express distrust towards you. I expect there to be a certain stubbornness from a spouse when it comes to accusations of infidelity, it means a strong bond has developed and there is enough trust and faith to hold that relationship together. This however is a biased response from a biased husband, he has already persuaded himself to embrace his own delusions.
Leaving him is really the only option, I see nothing left for you here.
I hope that helps.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Your husband sounds like an arrogant control freak. This is not up to you to prove your innocence; it is up to him to apologise for making unfounded accusations. Since he is not willing to do this, leave him. If he argues all the time then it is emotional abuse which is part of domestic violence. It erodes your self esteem and affects your behaviour and relationships with other people. His claims of your affair with friends is based on deep rooted insecurity on his part that he is not worthy of you. Frankly he is not! He needs professional help but he won't get it while you stay with him - by staying he thinks you are admitting he is right (in his distorted paranoid mind).
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 I can only second blonde30's post.
There just aren't enough situations in a relationship to "PROVE" anything, let alone prove anything constantly for a partner's reassurance.
Ya gotta have trust... If ya don't have trust then you've gotta talk... If ya can't talk then you've gotta walk.
That's my opinion in a nutshell.
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