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male
,
anonymous
writes: dear cupidi seem to have a major problem in asking girls out and cant seem to get myself to. i seem to have this fear of not being good looking (chek out myspace n tell me you think myspace.com/mohamed1991, but plz dnt post nothing ther if u cn) and getting rejected. how could i be able to go up to a girl on the road that i see and ask for her number, because all my friends seem to be able to do it and act like its not hard, but when i try to do it i just freeze in my steps any my mind tells me not to. is their anything that i can do to over-come this? also to add i have had people boys and girls telling me that im ugly n will never get a girl and have been bullied in secondary.plzz help me and appreciate any suggestions the females have
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Everybody, male or female, has a fear of rejection. We all have to overcome this. Sticking your neck out and taking chances is a part of life. I can't tell you that it is fun or easy, but if you take little steps, you'll get better at it. First of all, everyone is also not confident about their looks, and not everyone has the same taste, so who you may like may not be your best-friends cup-of-tea. So, don't let your self-doubt creep in. Girls are actually a bit less visual and like guys that have a nice, kind personality and a great sense of humour. More importantly, they like someone who is kind, empathetic and a good listener. It would be easier to take baby steps and go out in a group. Instead of asking a girl out, just start up a conversation with someone and take it from there. The more you practice, the easier it will get. I'm sure that you have many fine qualities, and frankly, although I was often called ugly as a young person too, I married a very handsome man. Perhaps there is a reason why those people are envious of you? Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Another thing, I never gave out my number to strangers, only to people that i knew and once - to the man that I married. Most girls don't give out their numbers unless they know the guy through someone else for the sake of safety. I think your guy friends are exagerating how many numbers they get on the street. Hope something here was of help.
A
female
reader, dont_worry  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 well first of all
for women the looks are not that important
whats most importan is the personality
but first you need to have a LOT of confidence in yourself
that in this moment you apparently dont have...
to lose the fear of rejection go to a mall or to somewhere with a lot of girls around and start to ask for numbers. Do it a LOT practice it, then master it
ask a 100 girls out, it doesnt matter if they reject you
what we want is for you to lose the fear...
i promise you that after that you would not care about rejection (:
good luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 When you fancy someone, that person might either fancy you or not. If the person doesn't fancy you, you get rejected. If she does fancy you, you don't. It's as simple as that. If you want to get the rose, you need to accept the thorns, too.
Play it cool and don't take it personally, and you will overcome this fear.
A wise person from the country where I live said once that "Every person is the owner of his own fears". So are you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): one way to get over rejection is to be rejected and dont be scared of it, you have to be more confident!!!
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I dont know who tells you that you ugly but there either blind or jealous! Your just not confident because people keep knocking you down you have to learn to love yourself before you start relationships.
Practice talking to girls in school or whereever even girls you dont fancy (if you feel nothig its like talking to a mate) build up your confidence get talking flirting and eventually the girls will come to you, girls like confidence.
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