A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help. I have had a crush on this boy in my grade at school for the longest time. In the past, I've sent him an anonymous rose for valentine's day and an anonymous candy cane for christmas. Both times he figured out they were from me. I don't know how but he did. Well he's never showed that he knows or has any reaction to it at all. We recently took a compatibility test at the school, and out of all the people on my sheet he wasn't one of them. for so long i guess you could say i've obsessed over him(Not A LOT), but that's just cuz i love him so much. I've been way too shy to talk to him and i fear that i never will actually talk to him, because he's not the brightest boy, and i'm pretty smart, so we're never in the same classes. I've been jealous a couple times thinking these other girls liked him but they didn't. But my point is, that recently i was thinking "maybe I should just give up on him. Get over him. Stop liking him." It's just that he doesn't seem to like me back when I've given him hints that I like him, we're not compatible and I'm pretty sure I'll never get the courage to just get up and talk to him. The thing that triggered this was yesterday at school, since it was the last day of the week for us, (no school today) they passed out the valentine's day roses and a couple of the girls got some roses that were from anonymous, and all I can think is that they're from him which I know is ridiculous, but I just can't get these thoughts outta my head. I've so many problems, but they've been making me feel depressed and lonely. I did get the chance to talk to him once but it didn't turn out too well, the students on the high honor roll were given ice cream, and i had heard that he wanted anybody's ice cream that didn't want theirs, and my friends kinda pushed me so that i'd go give him mine. I finally got the courage and went over to give it to him when he turned around to grab the ice cream, he said "thanks Miranda" which was my friend's name. I just laughed and walked away, but I was so embarrassed. I walked away so quickly that I didn't hear him correct himself. But I feel like he doesn't even know I exist. I just want to not be lonely. But I feel like it's impossible to move on. Does anyone have any advice?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Hi!
This sucks. I totally understand what youre going through.
You have two options.:
You could either confront him directly about your feelings or just forget him.
If he really didnt react to your signals, that may mean he is either shy or he has no interest in you. Is he shy? He really doesnt give any sign towards you (looking secretly or such)?
Perhaps somehow you could get to know if he really is neutral towards you by asking a friend, who knows his crew or something, cause itd really suck if talked to him directly and he turned you down.
Im shy myself so I like taking precautions:).
Im like you, Im not sure I could confront the boy I like, but everybody tells me that I should, cause women have to take the initiative.
Actually, I think you gave him signs, so its his turn...
You could also take part in things that he likes, clubs or something. Probably offer helping in math?:)
I think you should try to get to know other boys and realise he is not the only one (I know its hard since you like him so much). Thatd be a good source for finding confidence, you should 'practice' (how to talk, etc) on indifferent boys, it would be easier to have a conversation with your crush after it.
PLUS boys never like whats coming after them, but they like chasing and feeling that THEY want the girl. So seeing you with another guy would be DEFINITELY benefitial.:)
hope you the best!
SP.
ps-you can reach me on [email address blocked] if you just need someone to share your problems with
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