A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how can i let a friend whose just admitted their feelings towards me down gently without hurting them or ruining our friendship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 You have to be very sensitive to his feelings as he knows you so well and you have such a good friendship he will feel very upset when you tell him. You have to be honest with him and tell him how much you value him as a friend and that he is a big part of your life, but you just dont feel that way about him. Tell him that you dont want this to come between the two of you and you want to continue being friends.
Good luck
Aunty t
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Tell them that whilst you don't feel the same way back you are glad to have them as a friend and that you value the friendship between them.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Let him know that you really value his friendship but you can honestly never see each other as more than friends, you just don't have feelings for him as a lover, but more like a brother and a best mate and that's why you love his friendship so much!
Eve
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (9 March 2007):
 This is a hard one but the only real answer is to be honest. The easiest way to ruin a friendship is to lie: tell them how you feel. If they respect you, they will realise it took a lot to explain it and leave it alone. I know it will be difficult and they will be upset at first but if they really know you, surely they knew you didn't feel the same anyway? Whatever the outcome, I think, once it all dies down, you can still make the friendship work. But this has to be gotten out of the way now, don't leave him hanging. That will make him worse when he finds out it's going nowhere.
Good luck and I hope the friendship survives this.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Hi there,
Guess the best thing to do is be straight with him why u cant return the feelings so that u dont give him false hope or hurt him more. Do try to be gentle stating how wonderful the person really is and what u wrote here how u would really appreciate it if you can still remain friends despite. If he really does care about the friendship he will stay close, so dont worry about that. I have been able to maintain friends over the years with guys who have asked me out and i didnt return their feelings.
Do make sure u really sure u dont want anything to do with him romantically before u tell him so.
Goodluck dear.
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