A
female
age
41-50,
*lmostMarriedWoman
writes:I believe that most of my problems are rooted in a low self-esteem...I just came out of a 2 day seminar about giving presentations where the teacher gave me a pretty deep feedback in saying I was overall an ok presenter but reminded him of a little girl, my body language, I looked a bit scared,... I get that pretty often that people don't really take me seriously and do not acknowledge my age. I am 28. I know that's not old - but I am not 18 either. I want to be taken more seriously. And to be viewed as a woman. I feel like a woman. But I guess I do not give that impression.What can I do? How can I at least appear more self-confident? Like a strong woman? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Hi,
The video taping idea is an excellent start. You will know what body language you are presenting to others, to give the impression you suggest to have conveyed.
Also, real self confidence comes from within, and it takes time to build it. But it is entirely doable, with a little bit of practice. Here are few ideas:
1. It all starts in the mind. If you want to look and feel confident, and present a good body language before others, practice doing that in your IMAGINATION first (the video tape might give you clues of what NOT to do). See yourself presenting confidently before others, in your mind first. And make a habit of doing that in your mind, until you are completely comfortable with that thought.
2. Once you are comfortable with the idea of "being confident" and "presenting confidently" in your mind, you can move on to projecting that image in real world.
The trick for that - when the next opportunity comes, Just Do It! And act as if it were impossible to fail. Just go out there, pretend that you are confident, and give it your best shot - like you know how to. You may make a false step or two initially, but don't let that deter you. Keep creating opportunities for yourself, or grab any that become available, and do it again.
You can find lot more information about self confidence at:
http://www.self-improvement-advice.org/gaining-self-confidence.html
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 Video tape yourself giving a pretend speech. Then watch it as if you are one of the people in the audience and you will pick up valuable clues about yourself. I used to do little theater, and one time my b/f filmed one of our rehearsals. It was invaluable! I never knew how many times I touched my face, brushed my hair out of my eyes, or fiddled with my jewelry self-consciously. It was really annoying to watch. I also noticed other habits, like the jacket sleeves were too long and I kept tugging at them and sometimes I sort of mumbled when I was talking. It helped me alot to see myself through someone else's eyes! Try it and I promise it will help you get better!
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A
female
reader, Miss Karma Louise  +, writes (25 August 2009):
you cannot make yourself a strong woman because you are obviously not honey,you are who you are wich im assuming is a shy lady and whats the harm in that?i myself suffer with low self esteem and low confidence but its just something you have to get on with.just practice your futher presentations in the mirror or maybe even record yourself with a mobile phone or even a cam corder and then look at yourself and just think:"what can i do about that"?"how could i improve that"?try taking up drama classess or maybe make an effort to be around people more and get used to people in generall?hope this has helped a tadd.karma x
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A
male
reader, Sphronas  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Ah, that's just typical communication training talk. These people make money teaching seminars for people like you so they feed your insecurities.So you're a bit nervous when you give presentations. Big deal, aren't we all. That does not make you a little girl. The best way to appear like a strong woman is to realize that you ARE a strong woman!
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