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writes: hi,My girlfriend and I are very serious about each other and wish to get married one day but there are a few people saying dont take it really seriously one of yourll might get hurt cause we have a long way to go.We have a plan to get married in 4 yrs i know alot can happen in 4 yrs but with effort we can make it.I just want to know how to deal with other peoples negative advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Just keep putting effort into your relationship and as hard as it may be, don't be put off by negative people.
My mom and other people always tell me that "I'm so young" and "things change" etc, and I used to let it get me down... I mean, what's the point in investing so much time, emotions and effort into something that is 'doomed'. But that is the wrong way of thinking.
I've decided that my partner is the best thing in my life, and I want to spend the rest of it with him. Once you decide that, the rest falls into place. You've got to try, at the very least. And if it doesn't work out... then that's life. You will go on to find someone else. But you will never know if you don't try.
So ignore the negative people, and respect and cherish the relationship with your girlfriend. Then you might be walking down the isle with her in 4 years.
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reader, Candleman  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 I reposted what I said before because it is the best advice I feel I can give you. Remember, you two control your future, not other people. The bad part about negative words and negative thoughts is that they can eventually win out. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy of these negative things. You have to avoid these things if it at all possible, because the negative is not good for positive development. This means that you may have to cut off contact with these people if it is at all possible if they do not stop.Most important thing I can say though is that people can say what they want. These are just words. Actions speak louder than words. This means make the time with your gf special. Instead of sitting around worrying about this, think of what you can do tomorrow to show your gf you love her. Continue to work and plan your future. Every action that you do that is positive can make the words go away or at the very least counter what is being said.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey sorryno thats not whats happening...her ex is trying to tell us dont take it seriously when actually we are very serious...the relationship i mean and her friend is saying the same and makin us cast doubts in our heads...hopefully this gives a better picture
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reader, Candleman +, writes (4 October 2009):
I'm still having a hard time trying to get the full picture. I read your past post and from what I gather, you have two people, her ex and a mutual friend.
The ex and mutual friend are saying that he didn't cheat on her along with a bunch of other things in order to cast doubt into your relationship? Is this the problem?
You're gf is having a hard time believing you are telling the truth about her ex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd we are very young 21 and 20 to be exact..............no they have been wrong her ex cheated on her and her friend was so Wrong abt her friend........
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reader, Candleman +, writes (4 October 2009):
Well the ex boyfriend is easy to understand why HE would say such things. Forget about it. He is hurting from the loss, of course he will say such things because it did not work out with him. He is jealous. What can you expect from him? The other you say has her facts wrong, but I am unsure if she is telling this to you or to your girlfriend. It's probably to your gf. Not knowing what she is saying I can't help much with specifics. The bad part about negative words and negative thoughts is that they can eventually win out. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy of these negative things. You have to avoid these things if it at all possible, because the negative is not good for positive development. This means that you may have to cut off contact with these people if it is at all possible if they do not stop. Most important thing I can say though is that people can say what they want. These are just words. Actions speak louder than words. This means make the time with your gf special. Instead of sitting around worrying about this, think of what you can do tomorrow to show your gf you love her. Continue to work and plan your future. Every action that you do that is positive can make the words go away or at the very least counter what is being said. Best Wishes to you my friend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionone is her ex boyfriend who was a friend of mine and the other a friend who has not got her facts straight.
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reader, Candleman +, writes (3 October 2009):
Now don't get paranoid here. I'm a logical person and I tend to look at all facets that come to my mind.
The first thing that I would want to know is why they say these sorts of things? Maybe there is something they know that you need to know about this girl? Ok, that is the worst possible thing here. Don't freak out because it is probably not this, but you wanna make sure.
When you get their reason for why they say such things then analyze them. It's probably due to them being cynical by nature or the fact that you two are young or they got hurt at some point in their life....something along these lines. All this crap is something that you can brush aside w/ one simple logical question.
Have these persons ever been wrong in their life?
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
It sounds to me like you've got it planned out. Which is great. You've just got to tell the people that say it won't work out that you're happy and that's all that matters. Keep saying that. They'lll take the hint.
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